When Will God Expect More From Men?
When male religious leaders from the past demonstrate undesirable qualities, preach unsavory things, spew hate, make terrible choices, or proclaim misogynic and racist things, we call them products of their times; victims of presentism. When male religious leaders of the present do the same, we are commanded to follow their words until history (or a hardworking PR representative) tells us otherwise.
And I’m left to wonder: Isn’t the Gospel of Jesus Christ transformative? Doesn’t it demand everything of us? Weren’t the disciples supposed to drop all and follow Him? Shouldn’t the representatives of Jesus speak of and show us what should be without constantly being limited by what is?
At a minimum, why are men given such broad power and adoration without God better helping us separate when they represent their base selves, stuck in biases, pride, prejudices, and the now; and when they truly represent the word and will of God?
Right now, the solution seems to be to carefully pick and choose quotes and history that fit a clean narrative. The LDS Church weaves a black and white story of good and evil that glosses over the tough stuff. When people find the quotes left out – like the multitudes of, frankly, offensive ones from Brigham Young – or the forgotten sinful behaviors – like Joseph Smith sending men off on missions and secretly marrying their wives – they don’t have the tools to fit them into the black and white narrative.
Instead of clearly delineating those behaviors and words as wrong, murky “mental gymnastics” and other shenanigans ensue. What do you do when the reality of human failure mixes with being somehow specially called of God? How much can we expect that special, prophetic calling to transform men and demand more when we discover their deep, moral failings? If we recognize that they will still remain painfully infallible, would that change the way we revere them as people and force them into an unrealistic, precarious narrative?
Maybe the reality is that our Heavenly Parents never really meant for us to revere men. Perhaps no pictures should adorn our walls except those of our Heavenly Parents and Jesus Christ. Perhaps no man should be venerated and quoted so often that we hear him in place of our Heavenly Parents, without thought to his real, human failings that will inevitably interrupt God’s message. Maybe then we could listen as men speak – no matter their title – and better hear when God is truly speaking and when human frailty is interfering with that message.
I don’t expect men to be perfect. I’m also aware of the argument some make that Mormonism creates the best of men. But the spirit whispers to me that God is not stuck in the mire of men’s limitations. Our Heavenly Parents are not limited by sexism, pride, racism, fear, the need for power, or outdated ideas. They are certainly not meant to be weighed down by the words written down by men in the Bible motivated and influenced by so many of these things.
Frankly, women do not need another quote about how important or powerful we are. Because it will never ring true while social norms and church practices still scream the opposite daily. More than anything, women need for God (and men) to expect more of men. We need men to not be threatened by female leaders sitting on the stand. We need men who don’t just say they wouldn’t mind if women held the priesthood, but actively risk their status and standing by praying and speaking up about it. We need men who disrupt sexist jokes, actively engage women as leaders to both men and women, and call out outdated nonsense – even from revered men.
We need men who believe women when we say our Heavenly Parents speak to us of more and we need them to stand with us in making that vision possible.
