Guest Post: A Mother’s Blessing

by Anonymous

Well, it happened. My 5-year-old autistic son asked for a blessing, but not from my husband. From me.

I have felt the pains of not being able to lay my hands on anyone’s head to perform a healing blessing for nigh on a decade now, ever since my father and brothers were out of state and my mother was in excruciating pain. I just stood there, frozen, wanting more than anything to bless her to ease her suffering. But instead, she received no comfort. No peace.

There have been times when I nearly laid my hands on people, to address them in person, in the name of Christ, to be healed. But alas, I am a woman. Nurturer and healer, but not Healer. “Having” the priesthood, but not the authority. “Priestess,” but not Priestess.

My husband is so gentle, so kind, but my son prefers me. My husband has asked him if he wants a blessing on multiple occasions, but he has said no. And no one can force a blessing on someone else. But what do you do when your sick, feverish son wants a blessing, wants the comfort that it brings, but from the woman, not the man?

I prayed and talked to my husband, and we were both heartbroken and confused. But we settled on a compromise. My husband would be in the room presiding. I would hold our son in my lap, place one hand on his head and hold our son’s hand with my other one, and give a prayer of blessing. I commanded God to bless our son, to break his fever, to heal his body, while my husband looked on and our toddler played in the room.

The next morning, his fever was broken. I don’t know if my prayer of blessing did it, or if it was just the course of the illness. But our son believes it worked. I tried to explain to him before and after that I don’t have the Priesthood, nor authority, to give blessings. But he doesn’t understand. All he understands is a mother’s love.

I have heard over and over how women are equal but different to men in the Church. But how can we be, when we cannot even use our “nurturing” nature to bless and heal our loved ones?

The author of this post is a medical laboratory worker, mother to two boys, and wife to a supportive husband. She dreams of the day when her inner conflict does not have to do with religion.