Where do I sign up?

On my wife's friend's list, someone wrote:

"My aunt believes that Twilight is a conspiracy of the Catholics to stop girls from having sex before they're married. Those were her exact words. I swear on a stack of Atlas Shruggeds."
My comment: the world is in sad shape when any portrayal of self-control,even of vampires wanting not to kill humans and drink their blood, is regarded with suspicion.

Hey! I'm Catholic. Why did you hold a conspiracy without inviting me? How can I join? I have my secre...