One day at a time

(Nimue)

At this point, my lovely Keith is two weeks into a six week treatment process. One of the things we learned before it even started was that we would have to take things one day at a time. There are a lot of variables around how people react to cancer treatment and at the outset it’s very hard to predict how it’s going to go. There were some rough days. There have also been good days.

I’ve never been the sort of person to imagine that I had all the time in the world for things. I’ve always been too aware of mortality, and of the scope for things, opportunities, places and people to suddenly be lost forever. I try to make the best of what I have, to make the most of every opportunity I get and to value every day. I try not to be complacent about anything. Right now that outlook is standing me in very good stead.

Every good day is precious. That’s always been true. Every smile shared, every joke, every happy moment, is precious. This is not news to me. The odds are that there are some tough weeks ahead. One of the great uncertainties lies around how the recovery process goes and of course beyond that there’s the bigger question of whether the treatment has worked. That’s something I’ve decided not to think about too much, because there’s nothing I can do about it. Better to focus on what good I can make, and what I can do to help Keith get through this process as easily as possible.

Every good day is a win in and of itself. The further we get with good days, the less brutal the worst of it is likely to be, and the easier the recovery process will be. At some point I will probably have to stop counting good days, and start measuring in terms of manageable, bearable, not as bad as it could be. Every day that the process can be managed well is going to help with recovery outcomes. There’s a lot to fight for, a lot to focus on.

And every good day is precious in it’s own right. Always, every one of them whether there’s an obvious crisis going on or not. Every good moment is something to cherish. One of the many things I really appreciate about my partner is that he’s the kind of person who makes the best of things. He can be cheered, encouraged and he knows how to enjoy things. It’s a valuable skill, now more than ever.

(I’m sharing this having talked it through with Keith and had his input on it.)