Druidry and relationships
(Nimue)
For me, love is the heart of everything that matters. That’s not a radical statement for anyone on a spiritual path to make. Religions tend to centre love, one way or another. Who you should love, or what, or how varies a lot. The Druid’s Prayer prompts us to love – to love justice, the Godds, and all goodness.
Like many contemporary Druids I was influenced by Emma Restall Orr’s work, and she centres relationship in Druidry. This of course means human relationships, but also all of our non-human ones too. As Druids we can consider our relationships with landscape, the air, the water, other living beings, spirits, Godds, traditions, and more. Anything we do, or think or interact with has an aspect of relationship to it. When we see existence as a web of connections – ecosystems physical, conceptual and spiritual – we see how our relationships hold us in the world. We are influenced by everything we encounter and we also have the scope to influence widely too. This sense of our choices mattering is part of how I understand Druidry.
Humans are social creatures and most of us are deeply influenced by the kinds of relationships we have. We derive feelings of identity, belonging and worth from our relationships. This includes work, social, familial and romantic relationships. We each have our own priorities arond these, but they are all equally valid. All four areas are important to me, and often overlap. People I work with become friends, often. Community is really important to me and I’ve always been someone who invests in and tries to build communities.
Paganism is sex-positive. We’re inclusive, we don’t see bodies as shameful or sinful and there are many deities associated with love, pleasure and sex. Amorous relationships are something to cherish and celebrate if those are part of your life. The mythology we draw on is full of tales of heroic friendship and powerful family ties. We have many diverse examples to turn to. The life lived well is wholehearted, passionate and full of meaningful connections.
Romantic love is really important to me, and always was. To love wholeheartedly and be loved fully in return is a magical thing. To connect deeply with a person on many different levels is something I prize. Comradeship, care, mutual support and co-adventuring are wonders that I treasure. A good relationship brings delight and enchantment, and right now that’s where I am and I celebrare that every day.
Opportunities for joy are also opportunities to see what is good in the world. In falling in love with another person you can fall in love with life, with existence and the everyday miracles of being. That ancient Greek instruction to know yourself is more easily achieved when you have other people to help you learn who you are and to explore the possibilities with. We exist in the spaces we make for each other, and when we do that with love and respect we all have more room to flourish.
Love is a spiritual choice. However you love, whoever, whatever… that love will inspire you and help you figure out how to live and what to do. The love of people inspires justice and equality. Love for nature inspires us to live lightly. Love for the Godds inspires us to live more interesting lives. Love of learning, love of community, love of the land, or the past, or the future – there are many things we can open our hearts to, and where there is love, inspiration is bound to flow.
