My One Cool Trick for Surviving the Holidays (and my Dutch Apple Pie recipe!)

Several years ago, I began dreading the holiday season. It was part general overwhelm from having four children, part overscheduling with the mix of school/church/community/family events, and part something else. The holidays lost their magic when I was drained by working so hard to create magic for everyone else.

It turns out I am happier when I work from a place of joy rather than obligation. Wild, I know.

Bit by bit, some of my holiday joy has started to come back. No small part is because my children are a little older and are all sleeping through the night. More intentionally dividing holiday responsibilities with my husband has helped a lot, too. And I know that even being able to worry about my joy level is wrapped in layers of privilege and safety.

But here’s my one cool trick for surviving (and maybe even liking) the holidays: I build in annual traditions that are just for my own enjoyment. Preferably, these things are easy, inexpensive, and repeatable, but most importantly, they are for me.

That sounds obvious in retrospect, but it took work to figure out and build upon. It can’t always be about what the kids or extended family or external expectations demand. Sometimes, it can be just about me.

I may pair my tradition with something my family will do anyway. We carve pumpkins every year for Halloween, but I’ve added a bowl of candy corn (which I love but only want once a year) and watching the movie Hocus Pocus. No one else in the family needs to like the candy corn, but it’s great if they do. And now, when I think of carving pumpkins, it’s not just the work of helping several children with pumpkin guts and designs for which my carving skills are not up to par; it’s having the treat and movie that help it feel like Halloween for me.

At Christmas, I don’t love wrapping presents. I especially don’t love feeling rushed or staying up late on Christmas Eve. By starting earlier in the month and pairing the wrapping with holiday movies that I want to watch—While You Were Sleeping or Family Stone or Little Women—it suddenly isn’t so bad.

I have several of these small, simple traditions I’ve built in for myself around Halloween and Christmas, but Thanksgiving is trickier. It may be because our plans can vary wildly by year. Some years we travel, others we host, and some are by ourselves. Making my favorite Dutch apple pie recipe is perhaps the closest I have as a Thanksgiving tradition just for me. My kids (and husband) prefer chocolate pies or other desserts, so I continue making the Dutch apple pie because I want it. And that’s fine with me.

Do you have traditions you’ve built into the holidays that are just for you? What do you do?

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Dutch Apple Pie Recipe

INGREDIENTS

1 of your favorite homemade pie crust or 1 ready-made pie crust (Pillsbury refrigerated dough)

Pie filling:

5 medium honeycrisp apples; peeled, cored, and thinly sliced.1 tablespoon lemon juice¼ cup granulated sugar¼ cup brown sugar¼ cup flour1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

Topping:

1 stick butter, softened1 cup brown sugar1 cup flour

DIRECTIONS

Preheat oven to 375°F. Place a baking sheet in the oven as it preheats (the warm baking sheet will help keep the crust from getting soggy as it bakes and act as a drip sheet).Fit pie crust into pie plate and trim excess.In a large bowl, mix sliced apples, lemon juice, white and brown sugar, flour, and cinnamon. Gently transfer the mixture into pie plate.Put the softened butter into a medium bowl. Using a fork, blend the brown sugar with the butter until well mixed. Add the flour ½ cup at a time and blend well.Take small amounts of topping (golf ball sized) and flatten each piece until about ¼ inch thick, and place over the pie filling until completely covered.

Bake at 375°F for 30 minutes; tent pie with tin foil (to keep the top from burning) and bake for another 20 minutes. Remove from oven and allow to cool for at least one hour before serving to allow juices to set.