November 2023
Thank you for great book tour. In the last 7 months I’ve averaged 13 book presentations a month, along with still working full-time as a forensic psychologist. The Lake Agassiz tour was a blast with great crowds in every library. This was followed by a presentation at the Willmar library, 86 people signed up for! Thank you all! I have one presentation left this year, in Waconia at Waconia brewing. I would like to share a little marriage and family trivia.
America’s weird family history…
Marrying for love became common place in the 1800’s. Prior to that people were concerned that a marriage for love was less stable. It was believed your most passionate love should be for God.
1850 1 in 8 girls in the United States were named Mary. In 2023, 1 in every 100 girls were named Mary. We have far greater variety of names today.
By 1950, the dream of a companionship family became a reality for some Americans. (Cohen 2022) This was new kind of marriage, where partners were friends and romantic partners. While I can’t find a specific date when this attitude change, the hope that became popular at that time, changed marital attitudes over time. Families ate meals and went on outings together. The concept of “teenagers” emerged. Just a generation earlier, many Americans entered the workforce after eighth grade. Unfortunately, the dream was hampered by laws and traditions that still denied women equal status. Young girls were expected to be housewives instead of educated professionals. Still, the ideal was important as over time, it changed the expectations people had of marriage. The idea would become a reality for most couples two generations later.
The first birth control pill was invented by devout Catholic, Dr. John Rock, who saw it as a way to help people out of poverty. On June 23, 1960, The Food and Drug Administration approved of Enovid, the first oral contraceptive. The availability of effective birth control enabled couples to delay marriage and increased women’s opportunity to develop a career. (Goldin 2002) 
Family in the 1960’s
The Civil Rights Act of 1964 prohibited discrimination based on race, religion, color, or national origin in public places, schools, and employment. However, discrimination based on sex was not initially included in the proposed bill and was only added as an amendment in an attempt to prevent its passage. Congressman Howard Smith, (a staunch opponent of civil rights), offered an amendment that added sex to the four original categories, but only in Title VII (equal employment opportunity). Smith’s amendment to the civil rights bill was intended to kill the bill. Fortunately, the bill was signed into law by President Lyndon B. Johnson on July 2, 1964. The Civil Rights Act has greatly improved opportunities for a large number of Americans and subsequently improved the lives of families. (Couch 2015)
The implementation of Headstart in 1965 was a tremendous boost to underprivileged families. Children who participate in Headstart are more likely to finish high school, graduate from college and are less likely to be arrested. A growing body of research suggests that the first few years of life are a particularly promising time to intervene in the lives of low-income children. (Macionis 2019) 
The National Organization for Women (NOW) was formed on June 30, 1966. NOW lost no time in pressing President Johnson to follow through with the promise of equal employment opportunity for women contained in Title VII of the 1964 Civil Rights Act. While praising him for his efforts the new organization’s leaders pointed out the omission of sex in its wording and expressed disappointment that the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) did not seem willing to carry out that part of the law’s mandate. The omission of sex in the executive order was finally rectified on October 13, 1967. (Ryan-Hume 2021) 
Title IX of the Civil Right Act was signed into law on June 23, 1972. The significance of Title IX cannot be underestimated. It ensured women the right to be athletes in school and the number of women participating in high school and college sports increased ten times in the following two decades. The greatest concern when Title IX passed was that the growth of women’s sports would dimmish the involvement in sports by men. That is not the case. The number of men involved in sports has also increased. (Macionis 2019) 
On March 6, 1975, the Wisconsin Supreme Court, in regard to the Petition of Kruzel, ruled that no law requires a married woman to change her name when she marries. (Gorence 1976) Kathleen Harney, an art teacher in the Milwaukee public school system, continued to use her birth name after marriage. At no time had she used her husband's surname and he had no issue with this. The school board informed her that to continue teaching, she either had to use her husband's surname or "legally" change her name to Harney. The case initially went to a circuit court. The circuit court ruled that all family members should bear the same surname. The judge suggested if parents cannot agree on a common name, it would be better for their children, and society in general, that they didn’t marry. Authorities cited in American Jurisprudence, erroneously, that under “common law” a woman is required to adopt her husband's surname.
Common Law refers to practices that are enforced because they are popular or common, rather than by legal statute.
Ironically, under English Common Law, the surname by which a person is known was considered to be a person's "legal" name. In this case, she was commonly known as Kathleen Harney. The case went to the Wisconsin supreme court which overturned the circuit court ruling, stating: "While it is true that some customs of society have developed into rules of law, there is no evidence that in this jurisdiction the custom was ever accorded that effect.” (Gorence 1976) The case provided recognition by the court of the right of a woman to her own identify, separate from that of her husband. It is important as a symbolic statement of equality of rights under the law. This decision was used as a guide by other states. Until this law was passed, a woman had to get a license, passport or credit card in her husband’s name, even if she had kept her “maiden name.” What is the word for a name a man was born with? We don’t have a word for it. It’s just his name.
In 1993 Marital Rape made illegal in all 50 states. North Carolina was the last state to pass this protection. Oregon passed a law in 1977 eliminating marital rape immunity. In 1978 John Rideout was the first man in the U.S. charged for raping his wife. John Rideout was accused of raping his wife, Greta Rideout, while they were still living together. John Rideout was acquitted unanimously by a jury. An interesting aside is that in 2017, John Rideout was convicted of raping two women, including a woman who had hired him to do handyman work and his cohabitating partner. John was convicted in 2017 and sentenced to two 100-month sentences. (Bazhaw 2008)
Our efforts to aid families who struggle financially provide some benefits but need improvement. The federal program known as Aid to Families with Dependent Children (AFDC) was passed in 1935 as part of the Social Security Act to support widows and women who had been abandoned by their husbands. Rapid growth in the program occurred in the 1960’s and 1970’s. This would lead to the end of the program in 1996. President Bill Clinton negotiated with a Republican controlled Congress to pass the Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Act of 1996. A lifetime limit of five years was imposed on receipt of benefits. The act mandated a lifetime ban on welfare benefits for individuals convicted of a drug-related felony. However, follow-up studies on the change suggested the policy of denying welfare benefits based on a felony conviction status was unlikely to deter drug use or promote self-efficacy unless accompanied by effective mental-health services, help with employment, and supports to ensure a safe living environment. (Kubiak 2004) Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) was passed on October 28, 1995 and implemented in 1997 with similar restrictions. Many Americans continue to refer to the program as AFDC or “welfare.” After 20 years of research on the impacts of TANF, it is clear that it falls short of helping people enter the workforce and stay there. In order to receive TANF caregivers with children under 6 are required to work 20 hours per week. However, research shows that many participants find work, but are not successful in keeping it. About one third of TANF recipients have a work limiting health condition and in general recipients have high rates of exposure to violence. (Kubiak 2004) The criticism of TANF is it results in more families in deep poverty, for if they can’t meet the work requirements there is no help.
Picture of family at homeless encampment in Beltrami neighborhood in Minneapolis.
We need to take the tax burden off the working class and middle class and ask billionaires to help. This would help rid us of many of our homeless encampments.
On June 26, 2015, Obergefell vs. Hodges ruled that the fundamental right to marry is guaranteed to same-sex couples by both the Due Process Clause and the Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment of the Constitution. The percentage of Americans saying gay or lesbian relations between consenting adults should be legal rose from 43% in 1977 to 73% in 2017. (Butler 2017) I am an advocate of two adults committing to a loving and caring relationship, which will provide guidance for children. It clarifies roles and expectations. Because of the law, now after a divorce if one partner moves into a same sex marriage, they are subsequently evaluated on their ability to parent, rather than their lack of having a marital partner. In the past a parent could be denied custody for being unmarried, even if they legally couldn’t marry their lover. I dealt with cases where a married abusive parent received custody of a child over an unmarried caring partner before the law was changed.
As a society I feel we are headed toward treating more people equally, and I see this as a positive step as a Christian and a sociologist. Jesus never struck as someone who would say, “You can’t be in my group.” Recent studies show two interesting facts: Couples who help each other with chores report the greatest satisfaction in marriage. The longer people are married, the more they share chores.
Thanks for listening,
Frank Weber
Cohen, P. (2022). The family: Diversity, inequality, and social change (3rd ed.). W. W. Norton.
ISBN-13: 9781324038993
Goldin, Claudia and Lawrence F. Katz. (2002). The power of the pill: Oral contraceptives and women's career and marriage decisions. Journal of Political Economy 110(4): 730-770.
Patricia J. Gorence, (1976). Women's Name Rights, 59 Marq. L. Rev. 876 (1976). Available at: http://scholarship.law.marquette.edu/mulr/vol59/iss4/8
Macionis, J. (2019). Sociology. (17th ed.) Pearson India Education Services Pvt. Ltd. ISBN: 978013464279Kubiak, S., Siefert, K., Boyd, C. (2004). Empowerment and Public Policy: An exploration of the Implications of Section 115 of the Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Act. Journal of Community Psychology. Vol. 32 Issue 2. p 127-143, March 2004: https://doi.org/10.1002/jcop.10088
Booshehri, L.G., Dugan, J., Patel, F., Bloom, S., Chilton, M. (2018) Trauma-informed Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF): A Randomized Controlled Trial with a Two-Generational Impact. Journal of Child & Family Studies. 2018; 27(5);1594-1604. Doi:10.1007/s10826-017-0987-y. Epub 2018 Jan 1. PMID: 29657515; PMCID: PMC5886995.
Couch, K. A., Hersch, J., & Shinall, J. B. (2015). FIFTY YEARS LATER: THE LEGACY OF THE CIVIL RIGHTS ACT OF 1964. Journal of Policy Analysis and Management, 34(2), 424–456. http://www.jstor.org/stable/43866378
Ryan-Hume, J. (2021). The National Organization for Women and the Democratic Party in Reagan’s America. The Historical Joournal. 64(2), p 454-476.
Bazhaw, Melissa Anne, (2008) For Better or for Worse? Media Coverage of Marital Rape in the 1978 Rideout Trial. Department of Communication. Georgia State University 4-21-2008
Butler, Brian E., (2017), 'Brown and Obergefell: Two Positive Precedents?', The Democratic Constitution: Experimentalism and Interpretation (Chicago, IL, 2017)
Ludwig J, Phillips DA. Long-term effects of head start on low-income children. Ann N Y Acad Sci. 2008;1136:257-68. doi: 10.1196/annals.1425.005. Epub 2007 Oct 22. PMID: 17954676.
The History, Uses, and Abuses of Title IX. (2016). Bulletin of the American Association of University Professors (2010-), 102, 69–99. http://www.jstor.org/stable/44648664
America’s weird family history…
Marrying for love became common place in the 1800’s. Prior to that people were concerned that a marriage for love was less stable. It was believed your most passionate love should be for God.1850 1 in 8 girls in the United States were named Mary. In 2023, 1 in every 100 girls were named Mary. We have far greater variety of names today.
By 1950, the dream of a companionship family became a reality for some Americans. (Cohen 2022) This was new kind of marriage, where partners were friends and romantic partners. While I can’t find a specific date when this attitude change, the hope that became popular at that time, changed marital attitudes over time. Families ate meals and went on outings together. The concept of “teenagers” emerged. Just a generation earlier, many Americans entered the workforce after eighth grade. Unfortunately, the dream was hampered by laws and traditions that still denied women equal status. Young girls were expected to be housewives instead of educated professionals. Still, the ideal was important as over time, it changed the expectations people had of marriage. The idea would become a reality for most couples two generations later.
The first birth control pill was invented by devout Catholic, Dr. John Rock, who saw it as a way to help people out of poverty. On June 23, 1960, The Food and Drug Administration approved of Enovid, the first oral contraceptive. The availability of effective birth control enabled couples to delay marriage and increased women’s opportunity to develop a career. (Goldin 2002) Family in the 1960’s
The Civil Rights Act of 1964 prohibited discrimination based on race, religion, color, or national origin in public places, schools, and employment. However, discrimination based on sex was not initially included in the proposed bill and was only added as an amendment in an attempt to prevent its passage. Congressman Howard Smith, (a staunch opponent of civil rights), offered an amendment that added sex to the four original categories, but only in Title VII (equal employment opportunity). Smith’s amendment to the civil rights bill was intended to kill the bill. Fortunately, the bill was signed into law by President Lyndon B. Johnson on July 2, 1964. The Civil Rights Act has greatly improved opportunities for a large number of Americans and subsequently improved the lives of families. (Couch 2015)
The implementation of Headstart in 1965 was a tremendous boost to underprivileged families. Children who participate in Headstart are more likely to finish high school, graduate from college and are less likely to be arrested. A growing body of research suggests that the first few years of life are a particularly promising time to intervene in the lives of low-income children. (Macionis 2019) The National Organization for Women (NOW) was formed on June 30, 1966. NOW lost no time in pressing President Johnson to follow through with the promise of equal employment opportunity for women contained in Title VII of the 1964 Civil Rights Act. While praising him for his efforts the new organization’s leaders pointed out the omission of sex in its wording and expressed disappointment that the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) did not seem willing to carry out that part of the law’s mandate. The omission of sex in the executive order was finally rectified on October 13, 1967. (Ryan-Hume 2021) Title IX of the Civil Right Act was signed into law on June 23, 1972. The significance of Title IX cannot be underestimated. It ensured women the right to be athletes in school and the number of women participating in high school and college sports increased ten times in the following two decades. The greatest concern when Title IX passed was that the growth of women’s sports would dimmish the involvement in sports by men. That is not the case. The number of men involved in sports has also increased. (Macionis 2019) On March 6, 1975, the Wisconsin Supreme Court, in regard to the Petition of Kruzel, ruled that no law requires a married woman to change her name when she marries. (Gorence 1976) Kathleen Harney, an art teacher in the Milwaukee public school system, continued to use her birth name after marriage. At no time had she used her husband's surname and he had no issue with this. The school board informed her that to continue teaching, she either had to use her husband's surname or "legally" change her name to Harney. The case initially went to a circuit court. The circuit court ruled that all family members should bear the same surname. The judge suggested if parents cannot agree on a common name, it would be better for their children, and society in general, that they didn’t marry. Authorities cited in American Jurisprudence, erroneously, that under “common law” a woman is required to adopt her husband's surname. Common Law refers to practices that are enforced because they are popular or common, rather than by legal statute.
Ironically, under English Common Law, the surname by which a person is known was considered to be a person's "legal" name. In this case, she was commonly known as Kathleen Harney. The case went to the Wisconsin supreme court which overturned the circuit court ruling, stating: "While it is true that some customs of society have developed into rules of law, there is no evidence that in this jurisdiction the custom was ever accorded that effect.” (Gorence 1976) The case provided recognition by the court of the right of a woman to her own identify, separate from that of her husband. It is important as a symbolic statement of equality of rights under the law. This decision was used as a guide by other states. Until this law was passed, a woman had to get a license, passport or credit card in her husband’s name, even if she had kept her “maiden name.” What is the word for a name a man was born with? We don’t have a word for it. It’s just his name.
In 1993 Marital Rape made illegal in all 50 states. North Carolina was the last state to pass this protection. Oregon passed a law in 1977 eliminating marital rape immunity. In 1978 John Rideout was the first man in the U.S. charged for raping his wife. John Rideout was accused of raping his wife, Greta Rideout, while they were still living together. John Rideout was acquitted unanimously by a jury. An interesting aside is that in 2017, John Rideout was convicted of raping two women, including a woman who had hired him to do handyman work and his cohabitating partner. John was convicted in 2017 and sentenced to two 100-month sentences. (Bazhaw 2008)Our efforts to aid families who struggle financially provide some benefits but need improvement. The federal program known as Aid to Families with Dependent Children (AFDC) was passed in 1935 as part of the Social Security Act to support widows and women who had been abandoned by their husbands. Rapid growth in the program occurred in the 1960’s and 1970’s. This would lead to the end of the program in 1996. President Bill Clinton negotiated with a Republican controlled Congress to pass the Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Act of 1996. A lifetime limit of five years was imposed on receipt of benefits. The act mandated a lifetime ban on welfare benefits for individuals convicted of a drug-related felony. However, follow-up studies on the change suggested the policy of denying welfare benefits based on a felony conviction status was unlikely to deter drug use or promote self-efficacy unless accompanied by effective mental-health services, help with employment, and supports to ensure a safe living environment. (Kubiak 2004) Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) was passed on October 28, 1995 and implemented in 1997 with similar restrictions. Many Americans continue to refer to the program as AFDC or “welfare.” After 20 years of research on the impacts of TANF, it is clear that it falls short of helping people enter the workforce and stay there. In order to receive TANF caregivers with children under 6 are required to work 20 hours per week. However, research shows that many participants find work, but are not successful in keeping it. About one third of TANF recipients have a work limiting health condition and in general recipients have high rates of exposure to violence. (Kubiak 2004) The criticism of TANF is it results in more families in deep poverty, for if they can’t meet the work requirements there is no help.
Picture of family at homeless encampment in Beltrami neighborhood in Minneapolis.We need to take the tax burden off the working class and middle class and ask billionaires to help. This would help rid us of many of our homeless encampments.
On June 26, 2015, Obergefell vs. Hodges ruled that the fundamental right to marry is guaranteed to same-sex couples by both the Due Process Clause and the Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment of the Constitution. The percentage of Americans saying gay or lesbian relations between consenting adults should be legal rose from 43% in 1977 to 73% in 2017. (Butler 2017) I am an advocate of two adults committing to a loving and caring relationship, which will provide guidance for children. It clarifies roles and expectations. Because of the law, now after a divorce if one partner moves into a same sex marriage, they are subsequently evaluated on their ability to parent, rather than their lack of having a marital partner. In the past a parent could be denied custody for being unmarried, even if they legally couldn’t marry their lover. I dealt with cases where a married abusive parent received custody of a child over an unmarried caring partner before the law was changed.
As a society I feel we are headed toward treating more people equally, and I see this as a positive step as a Christian and a sociologist. Jesus never struck as someone who would say, “You can’t be in my group.” Recent studies show two interesting facts: Couples who help each other with chores report the greatest satisfaction in marriage. The longer people are married, the more they share chores.
Thanks for listening,
Frank Weber
Cohen, P. (2022). The family: Diversity, inequality, and social change (3rd ed.). W. W. Norton.
ISBN-13: 9781324038993
Goldin, Claudia and Lawrence F. Katz. (2002). The power of the pill: Oral contraceptives and women's career and marriage decisions. Journal of Political Economy 110(4): 730-770.
Patricia J. Gorence, (1976). Women's Name Rights, 59 Marq. L. Rev. 876 (1976). Available at: http://scholarship.law.marquette.edu/mulr/vol59/iss4/8
Macionis, J. (2019). Sociology. (17th ed.) Pearson India Education Services Pvt. Ltd. ISBN: 978013464279Kubiak, S., Siefert, K., Boyd, C. (2004). Empowerment and Public Policy: An exploration of the Implications of Section 115 of the Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Act. Journal of Community Psychology. Vol. 32 Issue 2. p 127-143, March 2004: https://doi.org/10.1002/jcop.10088
Booshehri, L.G., Dugan, J., Patel, F., Bloom, S., Chilton, M. (2018) Trauma-informed Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF): A Randomized Controlled Trial with a Two-Generational Impact. Journal of Child & Family Studies. 2018; 27(5);1594-1604. Doi:10.1007/s10826-017-0987-y. Epub 2018 Jan 1. PMID: 29657515; PMCID: PMC5886995.
Couch, K. A., Hersch, J., & Shinall, J. B. (2015). FIFTY YEARS LATER: THE LEGACY OF THE CIVIL RIGHTS ACT OF 1964. Journal of Policy Analysis and Management, 34(2), 424–456. http://www.jstor.org/stable/43866378
Ryan-Hume, J. (2021). The National Organization for Women and the Democratic Party in Reagan’s America. The Historical Joournal. 64(2), p 454-476.
Bazhaw, Melissa Anne, (2008) For Better or for Worse? Media Coverage of Marital Rape in the 1978 Rideout Trial. Department of Communication. Georgia State University 4-21-2008
Butler, Brian E., (2017), 'Brown and Obergefell: Two Positive Precedents?', The Democratic Constitution: Experimentalism and Interpretation (Chicago, IL, 2017)
Ludwig J, Phillips DA. Long-term effects of head start on low-income children. Ann N Y Acad Sci. 2008;1136:257-68. doi: 10.1196/annals.1425.005. Epub 2007 Oct 22. PMID: 17954676.
The History, Uses, and Abuses of Title IX. (2016). Bulletin of the American Association of University Professors (2010-), 102, 69–99. http://www.jstor.org/stable/44648664
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