Monkey Madness Monday: Becoming PC

So, there are a couple words I use that aren't quite PC. I'm a little embarrassed to write them out loud, but the first starts with "re" and ends in "tarded". I have a friend I spend time with, we go to lunch at least once every month or so, and we went to the Mariners game Saturday night (awesome game btw) and she doesn't like the word because she happens to work with people who have special needs.
Soooo, I decided it was time to find a new word. I got out my phone and clicked on my thesaurus and looked up stupid. Retarded was actually one of the words. Even the thesaurus isn't PC, sigh.
The word I decided to go with is Lumpish. [luhm-pish] adjective 1.resembling a lump.
2.having a heavy appearance; moving clumsily.
3.having a sluggish mind; unresponsive; dull; stupid.Example: You're so lumpish.I'll also be using the word Lumpen.adjective  (ˈlʌmp ə n)stupid or unthinkingHowever, I've decided to use it as a noun. Example:  You're such a lumpen
I will also be using the word Lumpy which I will be using as a proper name.
Example: Smooth move, Lumpy.
So, I've found a new word and I will no longer be unPC, using the "R" word and causing my friend  to cringe.
I've also found another new word, Festal, but I was told I didn't have to use that one because what I'd replaced it for wasn't as insulting.
Happiest of Monkey Madness Mondays to you.