Megan Bostic's Blog

Thoughts on the last year

I know, it's been forever since I blogged. Life has changed, I have changed, but I do miss blogging and writing and would like to get back into it.

I'm not going to sugar coat things...this year has been hard. I've been harassed by a former boyfriend. I've been screwed by a business relation. There have been some issues with family and friends. My health has been okay at best. Investments have not been kind...

I'm thankful for a new year. But honestly, I think I may say that every year (not going to go back to look). Though this year has been difficult, it's also had its moments.

Because I have a great right hand gal at work, I've been given the opportunity to pursue other work, so I can keep a roof over my head. She's not just an employee, but a friend, confidante, and the bad ass when we need a bad ass (and we have a few times).

I've been working closely with my sisters and a few other family and friends  to attend to the family matters at hand, especially where my parents are concerned, to keep them safe and healthy.

I can always count on my daughters to help me out when needed. Whether its work, chores, or fun, or just letting me cry on their shoulders, they are my love and my light.

My list of friends is fairly small, but the ones I have are rocks. Many of them would help me to their own detriment.. I hope I am the kind of friend to them that they are to me.

One long distance friend and I have brought back the art of letter writing. The ball is in my court now, but I have appreciated and been reminded about how personal, therapeutic, and magical letter writing can be.

There are amazing people out there that support my small business. Support it, talk about it, lift it up, and I am so grateful to those that support not just my small business, but all small business.

I'm not about resolutions anymore, but in this new year I want to nurture my businesses, my friendships, my family relationships. I want to do more, see more, be more. I want to love, not only those close to me, but myself, because I think that is so important in our health, relationships and happiness. Life goes fast. It's faster than I ever imagined when I was young. I want to spend less time on the unimportant, and more time writing, reading, traveling and doing the things and spending time with the people that make me happy.

I'm on my way. I've already started. In this last few days I have read, written fiction and journaled, created art, and spent less time on my phone, and more time in my life. Does that make sense?

Anyway, I hope you all have a safe and happy new year and that the good in life overcomes the bad.

Peace and Love,
Megan

The Low Tech Experiment Revisited

At the beginning of last month, I made a conscious choice to go low tech, meaning, getting off Facebook and removing a number of apps from my phone. Here I am, giving you an update of how things are going.

Facebook was the first casualty of this experiment. I left Facebook because, drama. I also took the Facebook app from my phone.

If you read my last "low tech" blog, you know that as a business owner, I realized in this day and age it was impossible to not be on Facebook.  Instead of reopening my personal profile, I created a new one, strictly to run my business dealings, however, that erase the drama. So, I went back to my old account and kindly asked mutual friends to please, keep me blissfully ignorant of the other party's posts.

That has been working.

I did put the app back on my phone as well because honestly, I like staying connected both with my friends and my business. I have made a conscious effort to not spend too much time on Facebook on my phone unless I have no motivation to do anything else. Like during the snow. And last night.

So, while I'm back on social media, I've successfully avoided drama.

Then to become more productive, I removed all games from my phone. I thought about all the things I could do if I weren't playing that game, such as read more, write again, exercise, anything to stimulate my brain and nurture my health.

This was harder than I thought it would be. I have found myself uploading it and removing it again several times, mostly out of complete boredom and lack of motivation. I relied on it heavily while I was snowed in, as I really didn't have the energy or the brain power to do much of anything else.

That said, I'm still using my time more productively. What I've been doing:

WritingPurging crap out of my homeReadingExercisingMaking jewelry
I'm still working on becoming even more low tech. I still debate whether I should keep the Facebook app on my phone or not. I think I suffer from FOMO (fear of missing out). Completely irrational, I know.

I'm hoping by eliminating these time and soul sucking forces from my life and doing things to keep my mind and body active, I will:


Improve my own healthCombat this 8 year battle with chronic fatigueEliminate my brain fogLose weightWrite morePaint moreCreate more jewelry. 

I want to feel good and to contribute beauty to this world. I truly believe that being less reliant on technology and more reliant on me will help me achieve this.

V-Day Ponderings

I'm single. Again. For Valentines. The last Valentine's date I remember going on was in 2012. Yes. 2012. If I've had any since them, I don't remember.

Yesterday, on Valentine's Day, I was thinking about how people traditionally celebrate, and I thought to myself, that's not me. It was me at one time, I'm sure. Before. When I was married, freshly single...when I was younger. I guess I used get caught up in the Valentine's Day romance whirlwind. But no, that's not me anymore.

Am I jaded when it comes to romance now? Am I just too old for that shit anymore?  I don't know. I'm not sure what thing inside me changed for me to feel this way.

Last night, on Valentine's night, I went to play trivia at the local bar with single friends. I stated out loud, that even if I had a boyfriend, this is still what I'd want to be doing, how I'd want to spend my Valentine's night. A few drinks, fun and games, hot wings and tater tots...that is the perfect date night for me. Hell, that's the perfect ANY night for me.

I'm not going to get cliche on you with the whole, "we should show our love for each other all year, not just one day," because, duh. But seriously, I don't want someone paying for an overpriced dinner, buying me jewelry I won't wear, and chocolates I won't eat. Okay, maybe I'd eat them, but I wouldn't WANT to. Spending time in an over crowded restaurant full of strangers is not romantic to me. (I'm not mentioning flowers, because flowers is a whole 'nother thing. I love them, but I also buy them for myself when I want them, so there's that.)

So, I guess what I'm saying is, I'm over it. I'm over Valentine's Day and its traditions. Maybe I have been for a long time. I mean, I'm still a romantic (I'm a self proclaimed jaded romantic, but a romantic nonetheless), but romance looks very different to me now.

What does it look like? Sitting on the couch watching movies you've seen 1000 times, spouting out our favorite lines? Sitting in front of a fire next to each other on the couch, not even talking, just being in the same space doing our own things? Talking smack during a heated game of Yahtzee or cribbage? Cooking together and laughing at other people's expense? Staying in bed all day with Netflix, pizza, and wine? Yes. All that.

So, keep your extravagant, store-bought signs of affection, your gooey greeting card, and your expensive dinners. Give me your time and your respect. Write me a love letter or tell me how you feel. Give of yourself, not your wallet. Make me laugh. Especially make me laugh. That's what it looks like. That is me. And that is romantic.

The Low Tech Experiment

First of all, I haven't done this in a while, so let me start by saying, "Hi! Welcome to my blog."

It's been a almost a year since I blogged. And last year, I only blogged a couple times. It's because - life. My life has changed so much in the last few years.

But that's neither here nor there.

Well, kind of. Part of the reason I'm here writing is because of my choice to shut down some of my apps. I have many reasons to have done so.

Let me say that this is not a resolution post. I think I'm done with resolutions. I'd rather set some achievable short term goals and see how that works out.

So anyway, the reasons I'm shutting some shit down...first, to remove myself from drama. Facebook was the first casualty. After a bad work/romantic relationship failed and I found myself the butt of much bullying and harassment,  I decided to shut down my personal Facebook account. I had already blocked that person, but friends would send me screenshots of all the awful things he would say about me. While I appreciated that, I also came to a point in which I just didn't want to see it anymore. I wanted to be blissfully ignorant of what he was saying about me.

So, no more Facebook. I deactivated my account for an indefinite period of time and also deactivated the app from my phone.

Once I did that, I decided to take it a step further. I'd become reliant on game apps to fill my time when I was bored, on a work break, winding down from work, before bed, when I woke up on the more...you get the idea. So I deleted them all. Every game app on my phone. My end goal: read more, write more...find other more stimulating things to bide my time. Expand my mind. No more monkey pushing a button (though you know I LOVE monkeys).

Now I have all this free time and need to reinvent what I do with myself during my lull times. In the morning after coffee I've started doing yoga. I've heard yoga is great for chronic pain and bringing one peace. So far I feel like a monkey trying to fuck a football doing the poses (yes, another monkey reference, but an apropos one). Hence why I do it in the privacy of my own home. But in just a couple days I already feel a little more mobility in my limbs, a little serenity in my soul.

It's weird how dependent we become. After deactivating Facebook, I realized I can't access my business page, I can't access the events to which I'd been invited. There were groups I wanted to continue accessing...long story short, I created a profile just to participate in those things. I'm sure it's all part of Mark Zuckerberg's evil plan - that we should be dependent on his app.

I've figured out a few ways to keep up with my business and such. Mostly, when I'm just sitting around, or waking up in the morning...those are the times I'm finding myself a little lost. But, I've started reading a book I've been wanting to for awhile (shout out to Gae Polisner and In Sight of Stars). I've caught up on some magazines. I'm writing this blog. I wish to get back to writing my dystopian novel. I want to create and work more with my hands.

Will I last the 30 days I've allotted myself? I don't know, but I hope so. Longer would be nice. I'm also planning  to not reload any games or other soul sucking apps back onto my phone.And mostly, I simply plan of being a more healthy, productive and intellectual person.

Have you set any short term goals for yourself? I'd love to hear them.

The End of America as We Know It: Part Two

This is a continuation of my last blog about unfortunate decisions made by our new POTUS. I am expecting an impeachment in the next four years or living in a dystopian society. I'm really hoping for the former.
Trump has taken over the nuclear codes. Yes, this is a totally normal thing for the new president to do, but having his tiny hands in control of those codes is nonetheless unfortunate and terrifying.Let's talk about that Mexican border wall a little more: I only mentioned in my last blog about how we, the taxpayer, are going to be paying for it. There is much more to it than that. Mexico's economy because of their coexistence with the United States. They have better jobs. People don't need to find their American Dream over here because they're attaining their Mexican Dreams at home. I just read a great article about our immigration problem that has nothing to do with Mexico. Read it here. Lots of good info. So what Trump is doing is ruining our relationship with our friends down south. They will more than likely tax the shit out of stuff that comes out of there, which is a whole hell of a lot. Do you like your avocados? Your Corona? Hot sauce? Tequila? These are the things you think about, but we import stuff like oil, rubber, medical instruments, cars...believe me, you will see a price hike on things you wouldn't expect would be affected.The *Rump administration has drafted and executive order that would reduce American funding of  international organizations by 40%.  We're talking organizations like the United Nations. I mean, who needs to keep global peace and aid foreign refugees. Not America!His choice for Secretary of State, Rex Tillerson, would like to block China's access to the disputed islands in the South China Sea. #LetsStartAWarThe Rump continued to bitch about the #altfact that 3-5 million illegal votes were cast costing him the popular vote. I mean, at this point who cares. #YouWonIdiot He continues to make the unfortunate decision of Tweeting. And now he has 2 platforms from which to do so. His +RealDonaldTrump and +POTUS ㅤ  His latest bitches involve the New York Times and Washington Post re #FakeNews. Also, how Mexico has taken advantage of us for far too long. #Really? And how Chicago better get its shit together. Oy. And what about his conflicts of interest?Hiring his son-in-law #nepotism. Anti-nepotism laws prohibit federal officials from hiring relatives to work for the agencies they lead, but Kushner’s lawyers have concluded that the White House is not an agency and the Justice Department has decided that's an okay theory. #WTF Not releasing his tax returns - still. He thinks we can learn nothing from them and the voters aren't interested. Um. *raises hand* Me! I'm interested!Trump has signed an executive order banning citizens from seven Muslim majority countries from entering the US for 90 days. However, this ban does not include Muslim majority countries in which he has business holdings such as Turkey and Saudi Arabia.Hosting a tech summit at Trump Towers to discuss economic growth, job creating and innovation with tech leaders. While this in itself is not a conflict, having his children Donald Jr. Ivanka (and spouse), and Eric at this meeting is questionable. They had no business being there.More about Ivanka. She also sat in on a meeting with Prime Minister Shinzo Abe of Japan and spoke with Argentine president Mauricio Macri.Has not divested from his business ventures and family continues to pursue lucrative, global business deals. There is WAY more to this then my simple sentence. Way to much to write here. This article in Mother Jones or this one from Time may help to clarify some of this. I will talk about Mar-a-Lago though. This is his resort in Palm Beach. As of January 1st they raised their membership rate from $100,000 to $200,000. Hmmm, do you think they're trying to profit off of Trump's presidency? Curiouser and curiouser.I'm sure there are more conflicts, but once again I am out of time. I wanted to go through Trumps unfortunate cabinet picks, but that is a blog for another day.  

The End of America as We Know It: Part One

Donald Trump is our president. I guess we all just have to accept that as a fact (wishing it was an alt fact, but oh well). In my personal and humble opinion this will be the worst four years in United States history, especially for anyone without porcelain skin or a penis. I'm so riled up I'm blogging again as you can see.
Trump and minions have made some big and unfortunate decisions since taking office. Let's take a gander at these, shall we?
He reinstated the Mexico City Policy, or, Global Gag Rule. This policy kills US aid funding for any health center that even mentions the word abortion. This will globally cut, not only abortions, but family planning counseling, US donated contraceptives, HIV services, maternal and child health, and even malaria services. This puts women's health at risk by cutting basic services, forcing women into unsafe abortions or unwanted pregnancies.Abortions aren't only being cut globally by the new president. His Congress passed a bill expanding the Hyde Amendment which currently prohibits direct federal funding (for instance, medicaid) for abortions. Up until now, this amendment has been attached to Congress's annual appropriations bill. The expansion of this amendment will mean that it will become permanent. Of course medicaid isn't the only channel affected by this. This also applies to women on government provided health care plans like military personnel, federal employees and Native American women, and women who pay for their own insurance under the ACA. This will heavily affect low income women in marginalized areas who will have to pay for abortions out of pocket or go without. Which again, will lead to unwanted pregnancies and unsafe abortions.The revival of the Keystone XL pipeline and Dakota Access pipelines. These pipelines were blocked over environmental concerns, mostly the affect of fossil fuels on climate change. But since Trump questions the actual science behind climate change, what does he care. The Keystone XL would stretch from Canada to the Gulf of Mexico - 1200 miles, 6 states, moving 800,000 barrels of petroleum daily. Most of which is slated for overseas sales. The Dakota Access Pipeline would transport crude oil from North Dakota to a shipping point in Illinois. The pipeline risks contaminating tribal water and the water supplies of 17 million Americans with disregard to Native American treaty rights. Lies, lies, lies. Oh wait, sorry. I mean #AltFacts. Trump fired all foreign ambassadors. This in itself isn't uncommon, but he had no replacements lined up, which is, well, inane.The Great Orange One placed a social media gag order on the EPA, USDA and Department of the Interior. I mean, who needs to know the truth about our environment and what we ingest? And let's just stop all those mean tweets from the National Parks, shall we? Trump has placed a freeze on federal government workers outside of military, public safety and public health departments. Historically (through Reagan and Carter presidencies) we know that these freezes don't work. Many federal agency's efficiency was disrupted and it actually cost the government money. One way it may cost money is that these agencies, which may be understaffed, will be forced to hire private contractors, which will be much more costly than federal workers. Which agencies will feel this freeze the most? Those that deal with our most vulnerable citizens - The Veterans Administration and Social Security. Also agencies that are already understaffed such as the FDA, National Parks, and the Bureau of Land Management.Taking action to repeal the ACA. Health care should be a right, not a privilege. I am one of the people this will affect. As the owner of a small business, and side work, I make too much money to qualify for medicaid. Repealing the ACA will take away my reasonably priced insurance no doubt and replace it with private, more expensive insurance - that I will not be able to afford to pay. I can barely afford my inexpensive insurance as it it. Without insurance I will not be able to afford the prescriptions I need, my necessary women's health care, my glasses or contacts, and more than likely, other basic health care needs. And I will not be the only one.In a frightening turn of events, Trump removes the LGBT, Disability, Health Care, Civil Rights, and Climate Change sections from WhiteHouse.Gov. He also removed any Spanish translation from the website as well. He has alienated all minority groups, those requiring health care or special needs care, and of course, remains ignorant of the truth about climate change.He gave the go ahead on building the wall on the Mexican border, which of course we, the tax payers, are funding.Our new Oompa Loompa in charge has stripped federal grant money to sanctuary cities. These © David Lacassecities include Austin, Baltimore, Chicago, Dallas, Denver, Houston, Los Angeles, Miami, Phoenix, Portland, San Francisco, Seattle, and most notably, New York and Washington DC. This is just to name a few. These are MAJOR cities! Many of these cities will defy this executive order to protect their citizens.$ 2.2 billion in federal funds are at risk. And what do these funds subsidize? Head Start, airport improvements, public housing, and community development. For me locally, Seattle would lose funding for supporting efforts to end internet crimes against children, aid the human trafficking task force, and assisting women after incarceration, and the biggee, a loss of funding for our ports, which affect American trade.This blog has become longer than I intended and I have so much more to say and share. Therefore, I guess it has just become a series. More on this later.

Pride, Muslims and the state of hate in America

I haven't been online much this weekend because of graduation stuff, but I want to comment on the shooting in Florida. Admittedly, I've not read much about it since I've not been online much. I skimmed a few stories this morning. What I understand is that this was an act of hate - an attack on the LGBT community, and I'm sure it's no coincidence Mateen planned to execute this violence during Pride Month.
To hate a group of people that much...is unconscionable to me. I have also seen many posts hating on Muslims during the last 24 hours. Keep a few things in mind. ISIS in not a religion. It is a terrorist group. We simply cannot stop letting people into our country based on religious beliefs. Blending together our differences is much of what makes the United States great. If we turn one away, we should turn all away. Islam is a religion, and yes, has some horrible people within it, but so does every other religion on the face of the planet. Look up Christian Mass Shooters on Google. Mormons, Catholics...have all participated in mass killings.
People are also bashing Obama for letting "these people" into our country. Mateen was born and raised right here in New York. His parents are not terrorists, radicals or extremists. They and his ex-wife said he was not overly religious and don't think religion played a part in this violent act. Sure, he was a Muslim, but more so, he was a terrorist and LGBT hater. When terrorists claim they have committed violence because of their religion, there is usually another motive, be it political, social, or personal (studies have been done to support this).
I will never waiver in support of our LGBT community. I'm supporting the Pride Foundation this month through my business. I know I have alienated and probably lost some of our customers because of it, but I am okay with that. I stand behind my ideologies, my convictions, and my values.
I am proud to be a person who does not judge, stereotype, or hate others based on their race, religion, culture or sexual preference. I judge people on their character. How they treat others and live their lives.
If you want to lay blame, let's look at the gun violence itself. I don't want your guns taken away from you if you are a responsible gun owner. But it is time to admit, and the facts prove it, that the United States has too many guns within it, and those gun are killing too many people. I don't know what the answer is. I don't know how to NOT get guns in the hands of mad(wo)men and terrorists. But is seems like a good place to start would to be to limit their options. No one should be able to kill 50 people and injure numerous others single-handedly within a matter of minutes. No one.

I resent your intolerance...

This month of June at my day job I am selling two limited edition wines with commemorative labels and donating part of the proceeds to the Pride Foundation. It is after all, Pride Month. I started selling them on the 4th and have mostly received praise. I've not had any opposition to this until yesterday.

I had one customer come in trying to find a bottle of white for his wife. He said she likes Pinot Grigio. Unfortunately, I am out of Pinot Grigio for another few weeks. I told him I had a Chardonnay, a dry Riesling, and something more to her taste, a Viognier/Pinot Gris blend. That blend happens to be my Pride White. He said he could not buy that wine. That he and his wife are conservative Christians and he wouldn't hear the end of it if he brought it home. "No worries," I said. I was polite, as was he. Of course I disagree with his ideology, but whatever. He bought the Riesling and went on his way. 

Later that day I sent out our monthly email newsletter that promotes all of our events and campaigns. Among cooking class, art night and ladies night, I also mentioned our Pride Red and White wines and how we would be donating part of sales back to Pride Foundation. Now, this is not the first time we've done this. We've done this for Mary Bridge Children's Hospital, Breast Cancer Awareness, Autism, many other non-profit organizations and numerous schools. In October we will be doing the same thing for Domestic Violence Action Month.

I received two emails asking me to take them off our mailing list. One was simply, take me off your email list PLEASE... After receiving the second one, I can only assume this is because of our support of the Pride Foundation.

The other stated, and I quote, "I resent your sending 15% to Pride foundations. They are an abomination. Take me off your mailing list."

I am not sure how to respond. I am the manager and will be buying this place soon, but for now, I am not the owner. If this had happened when I ran my own business I would have told that person to fuck off I don't need your business anyway.

But I'm not running my own business...yet.

The other day, I had a customer, who supports LGBT rights, ask me how I came to do the commemorative label and offer my support to that community when my name and heritage would suggest otherwise. (family name Aquino, heritage, Italian, grew up Catholic).

I told her that although I was brought up Catholic, most of my family were very liberal and have always been welcoming of others regardless of their race, religion, sexual preference, culture, etc. We believe that everyone is equal and deserves to be treated with respect and dignity.  We are all human, we all laugh, cry, hurt, heal. We all bleed the same color. 

I cannot speak for the rest of my family, but I cannot and will not believe in a god that does not love all mankind. He is supposed to be all loving, all forgiving, merciful. Anyone who follows him and preaches his words and his works should emulate him and offer all human kind the same love, forgiveness and mercy. Yet far too much, bible verses are picked and chosen to fit in with agendas. How about these ones?:

John 8:7 And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them,  “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.”

Galatians 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
James 2:1 My brethren, do not hold your faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ with an attitude of personal favoritism.

Romans 3:23 ...for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God...
Matthew 7:1  Judge not, that you be not judged.
Don't get me wrong, the bible also talks about judging. Judging what is good. Using the right judgment. Test everything and abstain from evil. I know many that belong to the LGBT community. They are good. That is the right judgment. Are they all good? Of course not. But neither are all Christians, Mormons, whites, blacks, women, men, and so forth and so forth. There are bad apples in every bunch.
But they are not abominations or evil because of who they love. 
Many of them are even Christians! Whoa, I just blew your mind right there, right?
And let's keep in mind that these quotes, regardless if what agenda we're seeking them for, come from a book thousands of years old and translated millions of time. 
I defend my business decision to support LGBT rights and the Pride Foundation. If I lose customers over it, maybe they're not the type I want shopping in my store anyway. I will not back down from my convictions, ideologies, or values to make a few more bucks. 
And anyway, I've sold a lot more bottles than I've had complaints, so there's that.
Happy Saturday everyone. Come to the shop and see me sometime.

I think I might puke

Tonight my 2nd child, my baby, my youngest daughter graduates from high school. I am at an intersection of sickness and denial. My stomach is in knots, not only for this child but for both.

My older daughter moves to Montana to play soccer in August. My house will be void of the laughter, screaming and messes made by college students. At times, the idea of that comforts me. My house will be cleaner, my electricity bill will decrease, my groceries will last longer. However, this child and all of her friends who consider my home their second, some of them their first home, will be gone. My house will be silent, close to empty. I'm not sure how that will affect me.

My younger daughter will probably still live at home. She wants to go to school, but she has decided to work through the fall and then decide where to go. For her, I think this is a wise decision. Though she will be here, she will have a full time job. She is very independent and likes to go out with her friends. It would not surprise me if she moved out sooner rather than later.

At times I'm like, "When are you leaving already?" Because I think I'm ready and want my basement back, and my house clean, and to enjoy a pee or a shower without interruption (yes, this continues well into their young adulthood). My body wash, underwear, forks, coffee cups, and shoes won't disappear anymore.

But where will that leave me?

Alone. Old. A single person with adult children, shower items, pieces of silverware and clothing intact and accounted for.  I will have all the time in the world on my hands outside of work. Cleaning less, cooking less. No more nagging at them the way mothers do, to do their homework, clean their rooms and pick up after themselves. This is ideal, right?

Then why do I feel sick?

All I can do is wish for their happiness, health and safety. Pray that they don't get hurt. That they succeed at whatever it is they want. For me, I wish to find someone to fill some of that void. To spend some time with so I don't resort to 20 cats or talking to myself...too much (I already do that anyway, just a little, I swear).

So here I am writing this blog on the night of my last child's graduation. Sick, worried, sad, proud, happy, overjoyed really. And I know we have the summer, most of it anyway, but I can't stop thinking about the silence and emptiness of this house. My big yard. My life. My heart.

But every parent reaches this point, right? The time to let go. To allow our children to become the adults, the unique people they were meant to be. And for me to become something other than Mary and Rachel's mom. For me to find whatever it is that is out there beyond motherhood.

Congrats to all the graduates, both college and high school in this class of 2016. And to all you parents going through the same thing...I feel ya.

20 Minutes of Action

I know, everyone's already said everything there is to say. No. there is never enough you can say about injustice and rape culture. Not until it ends, which we all know will be never. When people like Brock Turner states a thing like, "I thought she liked it because she rubbed my back." So, the whole thing about her being unconscious didn't give you reason to doubt her willingness? And when Brock's father says that his 6 month sentence - 6 MONTHS - "is a steep price to pay for 20 minutes of action." I mean, he can't even enjoy a ribeye steak any more. God forbid!

What price has Brock's victim already paid. If you've read her statement, you know her payment began by not knowing where she was or what she was doing when she finally regained consciousness. She kept paying by being told she had been sexually assaulted, then poked, prodded, and swabbed. She had pine needles pulled out of her hair. Her payment continued with photos taken of her entire body - every scratch, abrasion, bruise, and yes, she even had to spread eagle and let them photograph her vagina. That is just where here steep price begins.

She couldn't even tell her parents or her boyfriend because she had no idea what had really happened. Her payment again came in the form of finding out what had transpired that night through a news outlet, with the rest of the world instead of finding out privately first from investigators. Yes, a steep price was paid, but by the victim, not by former Stanford swimmer Brock Turner. He committed a crime of the foulest degree and he got caught.

Then the courts even participated in the rape culture when the judge, who could have handed this vile rapist up to a 14 year sentence, gave him a measly 6 months. Why bother at all? In his words, a longer sentence would have a "severe impact" on the sexual predator. Really? Now shall we talk about what kind of impacts a sexual assault can have on the victim?

We've already heard from the victim herself, She felt empty, afraid, devastated. She couldn't eat, sleep, she isolated herself from everyone. She was victimized all over again by having to prepare for trial, by inane and violating questions from the defense. She was helpless and at the mercy of the court because of her lack of memory of the entire event. Brock could tell any story he wanted.

This process lasted over a year, but a victim's suffering continues long after that. Her "severe impact"
will last longer than Brock's jail sentence. Many victims of sexual assault end up suffering from PTSD, depression and dissociation. They may have anxiety, trust and anger issues and the feeling of helplessness. To cope with their feelings, sexual assault victims tend to turn to drugs and alcohol to numb their pain.

Yes, Brock has to serve 6 months. His victim may be serving a lifetime for his crime.

I am tired of hearing statements like boys will be boys, she shouldn't have been drinking, she was dressed like a whore, she was asking for it.

No one wants to be raped.

We shouldn't have to live in fear of leaving our houses because there is a chance we might be raped. We shouldn't have to worry about having a few drinks because some asshole might think that's a good time to sexually assault us. I shouldn't have to worry about showing too much leg or cleavage because some jackhole won't be able to control his dick.


And we've all heard it before, but we should not be teaching women rape avoidance, sure, we should know self preservation, but it's not our responsibility not to get raped. It's a man's responsibility to not rape us. Boys should be taught to respect females. That rape is bad. How if she is drunk, cannot speak for herself, or unconscious, the answer is always no.

People like Brock, his dad and Judge Fucktard help keep us in that same rape culture cycle that seems will never end. Victim blaming, re-victimization, and the good ol' boys will be boys irrationalization.

This is not a man's world anymore. Women aren't home birthing babies, cleaning house and having your dinner fixed with martini in hand when you step through the door after a long day of work. We  live in a world of equality. Stop being little bitches, man up, and see the way real men act. They don't rape and they don't make excuses for rape.