Life

Do you need time?

When I was young I thought of time as a thing that stretched on forever, if anything, there was too much of it. The possibility of it running out was never even a droplet of a thought in my mind so, I did not concern myself with this seemingly limitless concept reaching its finality.

Sands of time wait for no-one

I thought anyone above the age of 20 years was old and how long must it have taken them to reach their grand age. Not unlike most youngsters there were times when I couldn’t wait to be older and to be able to do the things that ‘grown-ups’ got to do. As a child it seemed I was forever hearing that I wasn’t old enough for this or that. I had a theory that I would make a mountain of money then travel the world as a great explorer. It most likely would take me 100 years or so to get around the world but that was fine, after all, the world was a big place and time was infinite.

One foot in front of the other

As with many best laid plans, I did not make that mountain of money and I most definitely did not travel the world. Life seemed to get in the way, as life often does. It is said that John Lennon once uttered ‘life is what happens when you’re busy making plans ‘ or some such phrase, how true is that. I watch in awe and admiration now as nephews and nieces post up photos on social media of their remarkable travels. Do I envy them? No, envy is too strong a sentiment that to me doesn’t sound very complimentary, I applaud their bravery and wish them nothing but amazing adventures. Would I change my life? Absolutely not, I cherish the children I have and the people I have known.

Family

But, time is not infinite to us mere mortals. In fact, there is never enough of it. I lost another sister at the beginning of the month, like the 2 that passed before her she was no age to be taken so soon and yet, in what seems like a split second, she was gone. It conjures up a multitude of overwhelming emotions that you cannot make sense of. You can’t speak because that would make it real, it is too soon to be real. This in itself gives off the impression that you are strong when in reality you are far from it. A rock that has been there since forever has been tossed out to sea by the great leveller known as Time, it didn’t ask if we needed more of it, it simply acted of its own accord leaving a helpless numb feeling that once again tears through a family.

R.I.P xxx

In answer to the title, yes, more time would have been a gift.