The Writer’s Predicament

So let’s get back to the predicament presented when a publisher abandons a writer. The most serious predicament? Confidence.

Confidence is a fleeting thing, something that comes and goes without warning, sometimes without reason. There’s a sort of “Catch 22″ involved in confidence, because without confidence, it’s tough to succeed, but without some success, it’s tough to be confident.

To write a novel… heck, to write anything that you know other people are going to read, requires a tremendous amount of confidence. The writer has to believe that what he has to say has some value, and he has to believe that he can say it in such a way that others will read it without losing interest. He has to be part entertainer, part philosopher, part comedian. It depends on the genre, of course. If you’re writing horror, you have to be horrific, if you’re writing suspense, you have to be suspenseful, if you’re writing crime, you have to be criminalistic… you get the idea. You have to make thousands of choices during the writing of the a novel, and you have to have confidence that they’re the right choices.

So when I got tossed overboard by Penguin, my confidence suffered. My biggest concern was, how in the heck do I get back on the boat? And each day that went by, and with each rejection of the manuscript of the fourth book in the Dillard series, the boat seemed to be getting farther and farther away, until finally it disappeared altogether and there I was, treading water, wondering which direction I should swim.

I swam in circles for awhile, and while I was swimming I wrote “Russo’s Gold,” “River on Fire,” and a little novella called “Screaming Rabbit.” (I wrote “Screaming Rabbit” under the pseudonym “Prudence Juris.” It’s way out there, but it’s also hilarious, if I may say so.) “Russo’s Gold” was crime/legal thriller, “River on Fire” was young adult/literary fiction and “Screaming Rabbit” was humor. I also learned a great deal about self-publishing while I was swimming in those circles. I didn’t really want to publish books myself, because it wasn’t long ago that self-published books were called “vanity” books. But then I crested a wave and I spotted this big, shiny new boat called “The Good Ship Amazon.” Beside the Good Ship Amazon was the boat I’d been thrown off of, and I realized that the old boat was sinking, slowly but surely.

So I swam toward the Amazon and climbed aboard, and the strangest thing happened: the folks aboard the Amazon told me I should write what I enjoy, that I should write what I know, that I could price the books reasonably and make money at the same time. They said I shouldn’t worry about what those stuffy codgers on the old boat said. I listened, and as soon as I realized the Amazon folks were right, that elusive thing called confidence returned.

So the Dillard series is reborn, and I’m now riding along on the Good Ship Amazon. It’s gonna be a long ride, and I’m looking forward to it.