Two Powerful Questions to Ask When You Feel Stuck

Today I want to post an earlier blog I wrote. I also want to share a new insight. And former training is bubbling up the thought, “You can’t post about two separate topics! How would you make your social media posts? That will make your blog too long. No one wants to read your personal workalike and your thoughts. No one even cares about your personal life and thoughts…”

And that, goes full circle back to the topic of today’s musing. I have been fighting mental battles for a while now. One before I went to school, another during my time at the school, a third now that I’m striking back on my own.

The Power of Anticipation

My friends have been asking me what I’m currently working on, what my life looks like right now. And it’s hard to truthfully answer them, to share that life is actually quite challenging right now though in many ways it is getting better. I walk away from a conversation feeling like I just gave them one long complaint session. That’s not the kind of person I want to be.

But one friend whom I hadn’t seen in several years asked a very good question in the middle of our conversation. “What are you looking forward to?”

I don’t even know if he’ll remember asking the question, but it was almost like someone threw me an anchor in the middle of the storm of thoughts I live in now. “My books,” I told him. “I’m looking forward to releasing my books.”

And that has helped for several weeks that among the stress of finding or building a job in our current economy, in the midst of reworking novels that I already did once, in the frustrations rising from trying to tie up the last of the loose ends of ending my stay and business in Ohio and restart one in Texas, there are things each day that I look forward to and people that I can’t wait to see.

It has felt like a lot of delays are happening, but since July when I returned home, I have completed six content edits for myself and other people, done layout for five physical books, and three ebooks, proofed each of those layouts, and given feedback on two works for friends who are authoring. Yet, I look at the list of things that still need to be done and feel like I just can’t work fast enough and I’m making such little progress. But by focusing on what I am looking forward to, I have motivation to actually do what I need to do.

The Power of Defining What You DO Want

I’ve also been asking myself lots of questions about how to make it look the way I would like it to look, how to eliminate what is not helpful and how to add what is healthy, especially the things that I don’t want to add back to my life now that I’m settling back home. Last night I realized though, that my thoughts have begun to accumulate on what I don’t want.

Wouldn’t it be more helpful to flip that on its head?

When you don’t want something in your life, it’s usually because you do want something else instead. So why not focus on that?

By thinking about what you do want, you’re forcing your brain to quickly go through this thought process.

What don’t I like?

Why don’t I like it?

What would I rather have instead?

And by focusing on what you would rather have instead, you are priming your mind to look for opportunities to make that happen.

 

For instance, if you’re always thinking I’m lonely, what you don’t want is to be alone. What you’re really feeling could be truthfully stated as, “I want more friends in my life.” Or, I want a romantic partner in my life or I want to reconnect to my spouse and rekindle what we had. Insert your own desire here: this just feels like an example most people can relate to.

By telling your brain what you really want, you’re instructing it what to look for so when you come upon opportunities to fulfill that desire, you’re more likely to see it. This is a subtle shift, and really nothing new as a concept. But it’s important to remember, especially for my right now coming back out of a really tough period of my life.

So in a way, I guess this isn’t really two separate topics. Everyone I know is dealing with their own set of challenges right now. It takes both of these questions to face today and prepare for tomorrow. You can’t get swept up in doing one or the other.

 

So, my friend, what are you looking forward to today?

What would you like to have more of in your life?