"You're Getting the Results You Deserve." Truth or False?

“You’re getting the results you deserve.”

This statement didn’t sit well with me the first time I heard it, and it didn’t sit well when I stumbled onto it again last night. But why doesn’t it sit well, I wondered. Does it just hurt because I’m not getting the results I want in my current life, despite over a decade of effort?

No, I decided. It doesn’t sit well because it doesn’t ring true. At least, not without a clearer definition.

“You’re getting the results you deserve” is not a good formula for life.

Does Good Actions = Good Results?

At its simplest, it implies that if you’re getting good results in your life, it’s because you’re doing good things and if you’re getting bad results, you’re doing the wrong things.

But when we apply this to real life, it doesn't take much to come up with a list of instances where it's a false statement.

•    A small business owner whose shop is vandalized during a protest isn’t going to get a good result on their bottom line, but does he deserve to be paid less than usual?

•    A girl who bares herself on a site like Only Fans may do very well in her bank account, but does that make her actions good?

•    A person can pour themselves into saving their marriage and pleasing their partner, but if their partner is selfish and leaves, do the first partner deserve to be divorced?

•    A farmer can plant a field of cotton, but if it doesn’t rain during the growing season or if it does rain during harvest, does he deserve to lose his entire harvest?

I’m sure you can come up with lots of instances where the statement isn’t true. So let’s assume that’s not what the original saying meant and sweep this thought to the side.

Perhaps the statement “You’re getting the results you deserve” actually runs a little deeper.

Perhaps it actually means the amount of effort you put in creates your result and because you’re willing to put in that effort and investment, you deserve the good outcome you’ll get.

Does Good Efforts = Good Results?

Is this true? To an extent. You have to take responsibility for your life and make good choices and put in good efforts to mold that life into what you want it to be. A problem often can be fixed by trying to approach it from a different angle.

But not always.

When I was in college, I was in a math class with a professor who was a brilliant physics teacher who had the unfortunate assignment of teaching basic college algebra. I feel pretty safe to say that neither of us were in our element.

Math is math. It is right or it is wrong. If you calculate the equation correctly but forget to carry that last negative sign into your final answer, you are wrong. No partial credit was allowed. Fair enough.

However this particular teacher only put 3-4 problems on each test. So if you missed 2 or even 1 problem on the test, you failed. B or C wasn’t an option. You aced or you failed.

Most of the students saw the red flags waving high and dropped the class so they could get a W instead of a final score. I didn’t.

I went to every class. I turned in every assignment. I asked for extra credit and was told "You get what you get." I went to tutoring. I purchased an online video class and practiced outside of class. I still can’t listen to songs by Shania Twain without being mentally transported back to my brother’s truck, staring out the window with a steady stream of tears after each class realizing my absolute best wasn’t going to cut it. 

Five students passed that class. One was my brother.

I received the only F I ever got in my life. I was also put on academic probation, at risk for losing my financial aid if next year's grades did not add up to a high enough score. My parents had to pay for another semester and I took retake the class with a different teacher. I felt so guilty about the extra cost, but my mother graciously comforted me with, “It’s okay. I know you tried your best.”

And that was the worst part. I had tried my very, very hardest. And I still failed.

Did I get the results I deserved?

If we’re looking at strict numbers, yes I did. The percentage of errors I made came out to be below 70%. A-B=C. If we’re looking at the amount of effort I put into the class, then no. I did not deserve to fail. But I still did. In fact if we’re looking at my actual ability to do math at that point in my life, I took the same class again the next year, worked just as hard, and passed with a B+. Was that teacher fair? Yes, he was. Did I deserve an A either year based of the amount of effort I put in? No, I didn’t. Effort doesn’t demand undeserved praise. But if we had been going off of effort and skill, the first year I did not get a result I deserved. The second year, I did get the result I deserved. But neither year did I get the result that reflected my sheer amount of effort.

But I feel pretty safe to say with authority that that life’s formulas aren’t always Effort=Result.

Does life have a formula?

If there was a formula for success at life, I think the closest we could come to finding it would be to say if you do the right things, at the right time, in the right quantity you will get a good result.

A+B+C=D. This is the formula I have been operating under for years. If I could just get the balance right in my workday, suddenly my work will succeed.

The problem with this formula is that we all have a variable of “L” thrown in there. While we’re running around trying to adjust A and B and C to the right combination, “Life” insists on inserting itself into our equation. And “L” takes many forms and may not keep the same form from day to day.

So we can’t just discover than L=6 and insert 6 into the equation. L can be any number of things. It could be something a person has a little or a lot of control over—or it could be something they have no way at all of controlling.

But why does any of this matter? Aren’t you just making excuses for yourself?

It’s easy to brush L off as an excuse and some people will take that route and use it as an reason not to try. But there is a danger in either using or accusing the “life factor” as an excuse. Because L is not an excuse. L is another factor. You can choose what you do with that factor. There is a danger in using L as an excuse to explain why you haven't gotten a result. There is as much or more danger in ignoring that L exists.

People’s lives and efforts cannot be reduced to a formula. And they shouldn’t be.

I don’t think that most people would have ill intentions when they say, “you’re getting the results you deserve.” If there is a different way to interpret this statement and give us a formula for getting successful results, please do share. I would love to hear it.

But I think it’s important to evaluate the effect that words can have in the lives of those who hear them. If we insist that people always are getting the results they deserve, we are also implying things I don’t think most of us would ever actually agree with. Because when applied to real life…

•    We’re telling a child who gave their best effort and got a bad result that they don’t have the ability to succeed and wonder why they feel stupid and give up.

•    We’re telling a different child who coasts through life and makes good test scores that they’re doing fine and wonder why they feel entitled or betrayed when life suddenly demands actual effort.

•    We’re telling the overwhelmed worker that they just need to try harder and wonder why they struggle with perfectionism and depression.

•    We telling people whose homes are destroyed by hurricanes that it must be a punishment from God in correlation to some sin in their life.

•    We’re implying that for some reason that small business owners must deserved to be robbed. Perhaps they should have put in a better security system. Or moved locations.

•    We’re implying to a hurting spouse that if they had just been a better person, their partner wouldn’t have left.

•    We’re implying that person somehow must deserve to be sabotaged by a jealous rival or lose their position over a lie.

Aren't we? If you're "getting the result you deserve" then you must also "deserve the result that you get." And that, my friend, is why this matters to me—enough to spend a night analyzing a simple 7-word sentence and then post a possibly-unpopular blog about it.

You don't deserve to be defined by a formula.

I’m not going to claim that my life is successful, and I have a good answer for how you can get the results you want in yours. I’ve put in years and years of effort and still haven’t stumbled upon the magic formula for success. I’ve had times in my life when things were beginning to work very well and then the L-Factor happened and they fell apart again. I suspect you probably have too.

But I would like to gently counter this idea that your life is a direct result of whatever is meant by “getting the results you deserve.”

Of course you have to work for what you want.

Of course it helps to ask people who are succeeding in a certain area what they are doing and try to replicate it in your efforts.

But you, my friend, are unique. You have your own set of abilities that are very good in some areas and very difficult in others.

You have a unique combination of challenges in your life, of circumstances, and other people’s choices that are out of your control and affect your ability to accomplish the task you’re working on.

You have been shaped and developed by a unique history and life experiences that have left you with a skill set that may not match the person next to you.

Because of these factors, your results will vary. Sometimes it is your fault. And sometimes, it's not.

 Does this mean you’ll never accomplish what you want? Absolutely not. Does it mean that if you talk about one of these factors, you’re only making an excuse to let yourself off the hook? Absolutely not. Does it mean that you’re just not good enough. A resounding no. Does it mean you deserve every outcome you've experienced?

Pardon me, but hell to the no.

You might be getting the results that you deserve. But you might not deserve the results you're getting.

So take a deep breath, my friend. Think of how much progress you've already made. If there is something that is currently in your power to change that you know would improve your life, change it!

If there is a step you can take to move forward, by all means take it.

If there is someone who IS getting the results you want, ask them for advice and help.

But give yourself some grace. And give other people reassurance.

The "life" factor is real. It is a legitimate influence in your "result" equation.

I think we can agree on that. And we can all thank God that we don't always get the results we deserve. After all, He doesn't use that standard on us.