A New Thought

My critique partner gave me back my manuscript, and–so far–it has very few red ink scribbles on it . BUT. she said there was too much repetition in the first fifty pages, and that made the start of the book slow. That made fixing the problem harder than usual. Usually, pages that don’t work are swimming in red, and I can just fix whatever my critique partner marked. This time, it was a GENERAL statement, so I had to think about what I did wrong.

And then, I knew. It’s not WHAT I had. It’s what I didn’t. In this story, the victim is a really nice guy, someone everyone likes. So when Nick and Laurel go in search of suspects, they keep coming up empty, over and over again. The repetition is everyone saying, “Who would kill Asher? Everyone liked him.” Boring. BUT, if it makes Nick and Laurel more and more frustrated, more desperate because they’re not getting anywhere, and they’re beginning to think they’re going to bomb and never find the killer, then there are SETBACKS. And setbacks add tension. And then, all of the praises aren’t boring. They’re obstacles to solving the murder. And now, I think they work.

I thought the tension was implied, but sometimes, that’s just not enough. We have to see it. Feel it. So, I think I fixed my problem at the start of the book. I feel like I have. But I guess once I publish it, I’ll find out for sure..