Toddlers are not the problem
I mean, toddlers are the problem. No one can deal with them and they are definitely the X (chaos) factor in all your well laid plans.
But when it comes to homeschooling, it’s better not to imagine your older children peacefully and profitably sitting at desks all day, absorbing knowledge and wisdom with nary a care. Not if you have a toddler or two, with a newborn tossed in for good measure!
A typical email Auntie Leila receives is something like the following:
Do you have encouragement and resources for mothers with many young children and toddlers and babies and how to manage homeschooling?
I have six children: ages 10, 8, 6, 4, 2, and baby.
What does a reasonable school schedule look like while keeping the toddlers and baby alive *and* the home from exploding with laundry and dishes?
It’s definitely a zoo in our house most days. Help!
My first reaction is to launch into an outline of the priorities that will give this mom a sense of order in her busy and toddler-and-baby-inflicted life: knowing what is for dinner and other meals; getting the laundry under control; having a reasonably clean house; gaining competence in these areas while acknowledging the challenges of this phase of life; not losing hope when one has a bad day; and the importance of Sunday.
But then I remember! I have a blog!
It’s all here (just look up at the menus on the header)! And for those who are understandably either ignorant of the vast amount of posts on these subjects or frustrated by their disorganization, I have a 3-volume work! With an index! And a ribbon in each book!
Remember, telling you all this is not a career for me. If it were, my site would be super organized and laid out with flashy shiny boxes for you to click on. It would also take a while to load on your computer because there would be many ads for you to click on for ad revenue (the only time I get revenue here, a small amount, is for an Amazon link — if you use the one I provide — you don’t have to and I encourage you to buy books second-hand if you are able, not mine, but others ;))
Instead, notice — no ads!
I don’t have a career. I am a wife and mother and I have never sought to monetize my position. I worked hard to put what I’ve written here into my books (The Little Oratory: A Beginner’s Guide to Prayer in the Home; God Has No Grandchildren: A Guided Reading of Pope Pius XI’s Encyclical Casti Connubii (On Chaste Marriage) – 2nd Edition; and The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life). Sometimes I give talks and speeches just because when you say enough about something, people think you might be good to have at their meeting or conference to talk some more. There is usually an honorarium for that (and it takes a lot of work to prepare).
But as you can tell from poking around here a bit, it’s no career (or I’d get fired for laziness)!
I do it because I love you.
Anyway, all that is why someone might not realize I’ve already answered this question as far as it can be answered by me, and also in its inherent intractability due to toddlers and that baby! Who are great. We love them. Bring them on!
The key is not to think of them, the Four, Two, and Baby, as interrupters of the main event. Instead, think of them as your primary occupation and the schooling as something that has to be done quickly so you can run and pull the miscreants out of whatever mischief they are getting into.
School (formal version) is the interruption, the babies are not the interruption.
One woman can only do so much. If you have taken on homeschooling, you can’t turn your home into a school. Instead, keep it as a home and remember this truth: children learn very well — they are by nature eager to learn.
Official school has expanded to fit the time and energy allowed it in a sort of twist on Parkinson’s Law, and its overwhelmingness makes us think we have a huge task before us. But once we recognize our limitations (imposed by toddlers, for the main part), a wonderful reality emerges: formal schooling can be fairly contained and informal learning happens all the time and is much more dependent on the environment we provide than on any “subject” we make them slog away at.
So if you are feeling like you’re failing, get out of “school” mode and back into “home” mode. Focus on getting your toddlers to learn independent play and give everyone plenty of outdoor running-around time. Discipline your children rather than try to control them — and remember, this takes time. Do your own work (housework and creative pursuits oriented towards your family’s well being) and prioritize opportunities (music, art, books on the shelves, conversation) over sitting down to workbooks or, heaven forfend, screens. Rest and enjoy!
Kitchen Reno Corner
I know you want updates but we’re waiting for floor and cabinets. Like I warned you, Slowest Reno Ever.
I painted the pantry this past week, which was a real task in that it not only held its normal contents but also much of the kitchen things as well. Also I’m getting older! It all felt like a losing game of Tetris. Not to mention that everything — and I mean every can, jar, box, and shelf — was and is coated with plaster dust (not only from the kitchen but from a portion of the ceiling that had to be addressed for Reasons).
So I combined a strategy of taking some things to other, already crowded-with-kitchen-debris rooms, with just shoving them around in the pantry and working around them (fortunately the biggest shelves are on wheels, though said wheels have a tendency to fall off on my wonky floors, which is surprising and not in a good way).
I used Valspar Warm Milk, which I love in my sewing room — I decided that a soft white is the way to go (thanks for your encouragement! Click here for the link to befores) and got a lot of satisfaction from covering over the pale yellow that had been in there (and was just a dirty mess, after about 20 years in this heavily used room!). I will leave the green trim on the window, at least for now. The paint I used on it back in the day is very plasticky (was gobsmacked by that and wouldn’t use whatever type it was again). It won’t be easy to paint over, and I still like the color, so it’s fine.
I have wiped down one of these big metal shelves already (it’s in the kitchen behind me here) and shortly will tackle this other one after moving the former back, transferring objects (after a thorough cleaning), and pulling the latter out where it will have its turn. My plan is to put my current fridge in here as well, when the new one comes.
Book Corner
Need a read-aloud? Two of my grandchildren come over on Wednesdays and we have a nice afternoon together before I take them to fiddle orchestra (the same one my Bridget attended, about 13 years ago!). We have been reading Freddy the Detective by Walter R. Brooks (affiliate link).
It’s delightful and funny. Freddie, with help from some of the other animals and hindrance from others, solves crimes at the farm. I love when kids are given a chance to laugh at adults’ foibles and I believe it helps them to be reconciled to what otherwise seems to be a rather relentless and demanding world.
bits & piecesI will be at the Angelus Conference in Kansas City on Friday! I hope to see you there! I will be speaking on Beauty Will Save the Neighborhood: A Guide to Liturgical Living!
Related to the question about educating children in a young and busy family (see above) is this relatively long article about John Senior and his vision for education: Let Them Be Born in Wonder. I heartily hope you are able to read it, if not today, then sometime this week. Maybe read it with your spouse and later with your friends. (It’s written by the monk, Fr. Francis Bethel, who wrote the book I have recommended in the past: John Senior and the Restoration of Realism.) He says:
When the professors had taught philosophy directly in their classes, there was little echo in their students’ souls. They soon realized that this lack of response came not simply from the fact that their students had never studied logic or some other preparatory study. The problem was not only ideology, not only bad ideas that hindered their receptivity to what the professors wanted to convey. More fundamentally, the students lacked the preparation of healthy outdoor experience, and of loving familiarity with good literature and poetry. Beauty, the professors found, opened their students’ minds and hearts, making them capable of receiving truth.
I say: Obviously true and yet so easily overlooked: The child’s early life in the home forms his imagination and his whole orientation to life and learning. We are doing our best to accomplish this task and our efforts will not be in vain. Order and Wonder! They begin in the home.
As an aside, I never wrote anything, formally, about Rod Dreher’s book, The Benedict Option, but one thing that greatly annoyed me about it is that despite his relationship with Clear Creek (where he apparently wrote most of it), the monastery that pretty much owes its existence to John Senior, Dreher never mentions him. Dreher makes a big point of lamenting the state of education and seems to think it’s his original idea to start new institutions apart from the corrosive ones in the establishment. Though he is an investigative journalist, he failed to discover or report on the very real sacrifices made by the previous generation to found such institutions, as well as to take on the education of their children themselves, along the precise and examined principles enunciated and exemplified by Senior. Dreher wrote as if he were the first to think of such things as stepping away from progressive culture and trying to live in a manner consistent with a classical understanding. In short, he seems unaware of the actual recent cultural history of a world he is trying to shape; he omits mention of the man behind a good deal of it; he didn’t even trouble to acquaint himself with the myriad small Catholic colleges, high schools, and homeschool resources, all of which owe so much to this one humble man, John Senior.
It’s commonplace to mock the English language and its supposed inconsistencies and putatively unnecessary complications — all valid no doubt but on the other hand: Jorge Luis Borges talking about some of its peculiar strengths with William F. Buckley (who was also fluent in Spanish).
Have you seen strange lines of lights in the sky? Here’s why: Starlink Satellite.
from the archivesMore real learning will happen at the dinner table than you know. As we head into holiday season, we’ll have many visuals and instructions on setting the table for festive occasions, which is nice, but how about setting it for every day? Especially with sports schedules and autumnal busyness distracting us, let’s review: How to set the family table!Getting the House Ready and Warm for Winter
liturgical living
St. Callistus, Pope and Martyr
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My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available from Sophia Press! Also in paperback now! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!
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