Challenge Patriarchy

When my kids first discovered that I belt out a song each year at the Exponent Retreat, they fell down laughing. No one has ever said to me, “Heather, you have a lovely singing voice!” But when I explained that I take a hymn and rewrite the lyrics in a mocking manner, they nodded in understanding. As for me and my house, we respect Weird Al.

Occasionally I leave  the green hymnal and seek inspiration in pop music. Like “Don’t Call Me Mormon” or the year I latched on to the nursing scandal (get it, “latched on”) where the poor mom in Logan dared to feed her baby in the foyer as opposed to the mother’s lounge. I paired my new lyrics with One Direction’s “You Don’t Know You’re Beautiful” and “You Can’t Let Your Boobies Show” was born (co-writing credits go to the ever sassy Liz). Here are some links to past songs sung by the Red Hot Mamas: Persisters in Zion, Come Ye Husbands of the Ward, The Modesty Song .

This year I knew my song had to be Barbie themed and all about girl power. So I took “Scatter Sunshine,” one of the most toxically positive songs ever, and turned it into an anti-patriarchy anthem. Go ahead. Sing along. No talent (or pink jumpsuit) required!!

1. In a world where dude bros
Take up all the space,
In mojo dojo casas
Women get erased,
We must not be idle
Let your power flow,
Let’s challenge patriarchy
Ev’rywhere we go.
[Chorus]
Challenge patriarchy, all along our way.
Smash and kick and question
Ev’ry passing day.
Challenge patriarchy, all along our way.
Smash and kick and question
Ev’ry passing day.

2. Culture sends the message
Pretty is a prize
That our only value
Corresponds with size
Don’t drink the Kool-aid
Let your sparkles shine
When you seek the Mother
You’re Closer to fine
[Chorus]
Challenge patriarchy, all along our way.
Smash and kick and question
Ev’ry passing day.
Challenge patriarchy, all along our way.
Smash and kick and question
Ev’ry passing day.

3. When you feel discouraged
Mansplaining has you down
Unchecked male fragility
Makes even Barbies frown
And If thoughts of death come
Do not get in the box
Embrace your hero journey
Choose the Birkenstocks
[Chorus]
Challenge patriarchy, all along our way.
Smash and kick and question
Ev’ry passing day.
Challenge patriarchy, all along our way.
Smash and kick and question
Ev’ry passing day.