You know you want to vote for me!

... or maybe you don't. That's okay too. It just seems like (to me) that When Love Is Not Enough is always "runner up" in any kind of list, competition, poll, or what have you that involves the words "tear jerker" and "Published in 2011". Mainly because Bear, Otter, and the Kid always out does me! This LIST is no different! BUT! I made the list! That is something. My only question is, "How does T.J. do it?" Besides being a really good writer he is so well known. Is there a secret to widespread popularity and marketing? Or is it simply "the book speaks for itself"? (Which is definitely true.)

I question this because way back when Hot Head came out, Damon Suede had like 5000 ratings on Goodreads before the first day of sales was over! How do people do that? I realize I am a nobody and my name is not really out there, but how does one GET IT OUT THERE? Do these authors know people? I think Damon has been in the business a while even though Hot Head was his first M/M publication so perhaps his swift popularity is due to "knowing" people. Maybe. But Mr. Klune, I Think, is as new as I am to the business. What does he do differently? Hmm, I guess one big one is HE DOESN'T WRITE ABOUT SUICIDE! So maybe I have to consider my topic when I write. His book also has a pretty damn funny KID in it! People love kids. Do I sound jealous? I am. But not in an unhealthy "I'm gonna boil your cat" sort of way. (Sorry, reference to a movie I saw once.) I yearn for a book that sells like that! I covet his ability to write something deeply moving AND popular.

Am I in it for the money? I'm glad you asked. Yes, and NO. I need money because I have none and in the perfect world I would get paid to do what I love: WRITE! As we all know this is not a perfect world. So what do I choose to do? Write about suicide and scare people off. This is actually the way my life goes often so it should not surprise me! However, I seriously feel I DID NOT CHOOSE this topic or story. I feel my gift or writing comes from God and When Love Is Not Enough is the story God wanted me to write. My therapist asked me where I thought my ideas and stories came from and that IS the answer I gave her. God. I feel I have a purpose that goes beyond the words on the page. I feel I have a purpose that involves the heart. More specifically, the hearts of my readers.

The truest example of that came to me AGAIN this week in the form of a "new friend online". Lets call him DUDE. :) (Because I'm retarded and need mental help.) So... Dude writes me to thank me for my book. I have had this happen before. Tom was one of the first people I blogged about who wrote to me to thank me for what I wrote and make me feel like the pain I experienced in that writing was worth it. Dude did no less than that. Alright, I am annoying myself calling him Dude. It makes this sound less sincere. This FRIEND I talked to was really kind and blew me away by his expression of how much MY STORY meant to him. And he told my that what I wrote resonated with his own history etc in many ways. (Friend, if you read this, I am getting that from reading the "message" you send me that your friend wrote and extrapolating what I think you meant. If you know what I mean?) AND, oddly, I think The Cost of Loving will hit him ever harder. (considering the content of that "message" he sent.)

Friend sent me a quote that said "Stephen King said that if you're writing to make money, you're waisting you're time." and friend told me "You write for the right reasons." For his sake and others out there who feel the same way and haven't contacted me, I HOPE I CAN KEEP THAT GOAL IN MIND EVERY TIME I WRITE!

I am not in it for the money. It would be nice! I would LOVE to do this as a career because I love writing. But truly, I write because me heart is involved. I feel for the pain of the world. I want people t see they are not alone in their struggles and that they can find hope! There is always HOPE! Yes, my stories are fiction. My characters are fictional. (Otherwise the book would be under NON-FICTION, not m/m romance.) BUT I do strive to write realistically. I pull from everything I know, and see, and feel, and experience around me and I pour it onto the pages. If you are out there, and you are like FRIEND who felt a deep connection to my writing and MY BOOK helped you in ANY WAY, then I have accomplished what I wanted to achieve as a writer. I want to touch people's lives. Truly, deeply, sincerely, and in the heart. Will I ever make money at it? I can only hope so! But for now, I will simply write the stories I think people need to hear.

So thank you, Friend, your words meant something to me too!

Conclusion: TJ can have the fame and fortune, and I will live out my dismal life, poor and invisible yet with a great sense of knowing I made a difference to specific people. Not the world as a whole by storm, but one heart at a time.

:)

On a freaky side-note... "Friend" looks exactly like Cole in my new story. Blew me away! I was like "Holy Shi...." I find it bizarrely odd that I write a character and describe him in such a way, and then come across someone who looks exactly like the person in my imagination. WOW!

My Roommate's A Jock will be submitted soon, people! I am working on edits and relearning the use of the comma. Going word by word through a manuscript is SLOW work, but I hope it pays off! This one should be fun and more widely accepted. And I am still waiting to hear back about TCOL.

Cheers. I hope y'all have a great weekend!
If you are bored. Go to the Goodreads LISTS and vote! Of course I imply "vote for me!" but there are loads of good books out there to stick in a list.

Best Tear Jerker!
Best Romance published 2011
Favorite couple (Duh! Darian and Matt!)