Equality in Relationships

It’s a sad reality that in many relationships and marriages one partner will become chronically dominant and the other chronically submissive. This can lead to marital breakdown, sickness, and suffering. So how can inequality in relationships be avoided and healthy marriages maintained?

1) Women, obey your husbands, serve them with gladness and be there for them in times of hardship.

2) God loves wives who are humble and submissive.

3) Men, do not seek to control your wives, but submit to them humbly and fully, be present with them in times of need.

4) Pray to God for one another, and always pray together.

5) Strive to be kind and loving at all times – God loves those who put others first.

(The Book of Mercy 20:1-5)

The reality is of course that human beings are inherently weak and so often stray from the kind of thought and action that results in harmonious relationships. God gives the following advice:

1) There are no grounds for divorce if God is kept in mind.

2) Yet divorce is a reality and is from God.

(The Book of Mercy 27:1-2)

I find the clarification that divorce is acceptable to God when it happens to be reassuring, yet the most important consideration in my view is the content of 27:1. The second verse (27:2) is in keeping with teaching found in the Qur’an, in which divorce is permitted under certain regulations.

God further elaborates on the roles of women and men in Chapter 26:

1) Men and women are equal.

2) The man and the woman have different roles.

3) Man is the provider.

4) Woman is the mother.

5) Relationships are harmonious when these roles are fulfilled.

6) Marriage is sacred.

7) God is most merciful to married couples when they put Him first.

8) God’s moral teaching is as follows:

9) Men, love your wives.

10) Women, love your husbands.

11) Put the other first at all times.

12) Be kind to each other.

13) Do not argue or fight.

14) Keep prayer in your relationships and always forgive.

15) God loves you and wants you to be happy.

16) Be still and know that I am God.

(The Book of Mercy 26:1-16)

The Book of Mercy does not replace teaching found in the Bible or the Qur’an but complements that teaching and provides certain clarifications.

The most important insight to understand from this article is that a God-centred relationship in which both partners put the needs of the other first stands the best chance of being healthy and happy.

Thanks be to God.