Not My Message to Muddle

Where are you hurting in relation to your faith ?

I’ve been quiet lately, not just here but in real time. Feeling every pain point of my own faith journey. Too ready to hurl words at the sources of my strife and trying to determine which rant to post until it’s no longer a rant but a book or series or an encyclopedia of ravings so expansive, I realize I’m off course.

When I feel I have too much to say, it’s usually wise to stay quiet and sort through it with God.

Still sorting.

By that I mean, I’ve done a lot of sitting in the rocker on my porch listening to the wind in the trees, letting my body and mind soak in the calm God provides through His creation.

There’s a tree on my front yard, a catalpa, that was struck by lightning in its youth. It bears the long, thick, ugly scar but it survived. I feel a kinship.

 

Now, its lush branches provide me with shelter and shade. Cardinals, woodpeckers, hummingbirds, robins, sparrows, an occasional goldfinch, two magnificent red-shouldered hawks, and a titmouse find food, shelter, perches, and nesting material in its branches. I learn from the perseverance story God tells through this survivor.

 

It abides. And God reminds me to abide with Him.

This tree is a settling place for my soul. A gift from my loving Father. My spirit is quieted so I can hear Him above the din of my frustrations.

Then, I open His Word. I read and listen. Offer prayers of thanks for salvation in Jesus, the gift of the Holy Spirit, the wonder of His Word in my own language. And I remember His love, I recount what I know of His nature. I apply all this to my pain, absorbing God’s presence like a balm.

I listen to others. To proven and tested teachers of His Word. To the voices of the hurting, to those who disagree or disbelieve, to those close to me. I listen and still, I don’t speak. I wait.

Where are you hurting in relation to your faith? 

Are you frustrated with the busy-ness you allow to keep you from praying, studying, worshipping with others, or serving?

Are you secretly harboring questions and doubts silently driving your drift incrementally further from Him?

Is your pain the unbelief of aging parents, the pushback from prodigals you raised to know the truth, the resistance of a spouse to maturing in faith, or the disappointment of another leader fallen from grace?

Is your pain the loss of your first love for Christ? the joy of your salvation?

Or, do you suffer from disorientation and distraction in a society you once knew now so foreign to foundational truths of your faith? Do you agonize over the deterioration of public conversation around the name of Jesus and all related things?

Have you become the target of someone’s misdirected hatred for the faith because of the church you attend, the truth you promote, the name by which you identify, the news you watch, or your lack of support for their sinful choices?

Do you lament the lack of love and humility from those who speak in Jesus’ name?

Feel free to check “all of the above” and know I will resonate with your pain.

Where do you hurt in relation to your faith and where are you seeking remedy? I really want to know.

For me, it’s the division.

As friends deconstruct or self-destruct or drift or dabble in wandering from truth, I feel the grief of loss. I agree with the mess we’ve made of things. I disagree with their solution.

Weighed down knowing I could create my own unity with compromise or a willingness to accept their judgements without question or a silence just to get along, but at the end of the day, it’s not my message to muddle.

If mine were a faith created by human hands, adjustments might be made, updates required, alterations, accommodations, and edits to appease. But, God is the One who created both the message, me, and those who reject all. He is the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. He is the Way, the Truth, the Life. He is the great Shepherd and me, I’m just a sheep resting here beside the still waters.

So, I must lay down the idol of “unity at all costs” knowing that unity in Christ is something other than that wooden lifeless carving that can provide neither guidance, nor light, nor peace. I cannot declare peace when there is none.

God is not like me.

He is not afraid to separate. At the very start of creation, He began to name and to discern. He spoke light into being in Genesis 1:3 and by verse 4, He distinguished light from darkness. “And God saw that the light was good. And God separated the light from the darkness.”

God is not afraid to divide. Jesus talked much about the unity of believers but He also warned them, ““Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.” Matthew 10:34

The God who created multiplication also invented division. Hebrews 4:12-13, “For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.”

There is purpose in the pain.

In John 6, following the feeding of the 5000 when great crowds were gathering to hear Him, Jesus made statements that inspired many, many disciples to walk away. (John 6:66). Jesus watched them go. The weight of all those souls, weight He would bear, but He didn’t chase them down or alter His Word.

I feel the pain of division when others cannot abide relationship with me any longer or with Christ. I love them and love them still, but I wouldn’t send my son to die for them. That’s the love Jesus has for those who walk away. I couldn’t bear it.

I seek peace. I offer love. I want to remain in relationship even with those who disagree, who question, who argue, or who doubt. I want to keep the lines open even when what comes at me through those lines is name-calling, hatred, or disdain. Still, I would hold on for the sake of the gospel and for love.

But, they’ve declared me part of the problem. They’ve labeled me, boxed me, and now, they’ve shelved me along with other items from the past they no longer find useful as their lives progress, as their faith evolves, as they lose their religion and throw babies out with the baptism water.

It’s not my message to muddle.

So, lean on Christ who knows this pain more intimately than I do, and He will bear it.

I find comfort in Christ through His Word, through the Holy Spirit, through His Creation, and through His people.

Where are you hurting in relation to your faith? Where do you find remedy for your pain? How can I help? I really want to know.

Not my message to muddle. The pain when others deconstruct. https://t.co/i4gY5e8ZlE #deconstruct #Jesus

— Lori Roeleveld (@lorisroeleveld) August 22, 2023