Give Each Other Grace
I enjoyed the privilege of previewing Brad and Marilyn Rhoads’ book “The Grace Marriage.” Brad and Marilyn came up with the brilliant idea of looking at every aspect of marriage through the lens of grace. This piercing and convicting truth may be challenging for some to hear, but it’s true to scripture, and the book contains the necessary caveats. I was convicted and challenged and now aspire to let grace dictate every aspect of my relationship with Lisa. Here’s an excerpt where Brad and Marilyn give concrete examples of what it looks like to let grace define your response to your spouse, especially when your spouse isn’t at his or her best…
When our daughter Madeline was eleven years old, she came to sleep in our bed one night because she was having trouble falling asleep. Around midnight, Marilyn felt she should begin praying for her. At 2:00 a.m., Madeline began shaking violently and then stopped breathing.
I awoke to Marilyn screaming. As I ran around the house in the dark, trying to find Madeline’s inhaler (and breaking our cordless phone and my toe in the process), I heard Marilyn cry that Madeline had gone limp. Sobbing, Marilyn held what we believed to be our dead daughter until paramedics arrived.
Madeline did revive, praise God, and we learned that she’d had a grand mal seizure. But doctors couldn’t tell us what was wrong with her, or why it had happened, or that it wouldn’t happen again. Furthermore, it would be a whole month until Madeline could get an appointment with a neurologist. One doctor tried to console us with, “It might never happen again, but just call 911 if it does.”
As you might imagine, that was not comforting. Every night, I (Marilyn) slept in Madeline’s room with her. I slept with my phone in hand, gripped with fear of her having another seizure. Each night as we got under the covers, my heart would start racing. I would pray out loud, with my heart pounding in my ears, pretending to be calm so our daughter wouldn’t be scared.
Added to the trauma of Madeline’s seizure, multiple doctor visits, and all the questions raised about her future were other burdens. We had a baby who still wasn’t sleeping through the night. Another child had just been diagnosed with severe ADD. And recently, we’d found out one of our kids needed to be gluten- and dairy-free, so I needed to completely overhaul the way I cooked. I remember a trip to the grocery store during all this. I had no idea where to start. I didn’t put anything in my cart. I walked every aisle and then went to the car and cried.
I cried a lot that year.
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