Reputation, Celts, Druids, Zen and the title that has just run away from me
I’ve just read a most excellent post from Jo over at http://octopusdance.wordpress.com/201... at Zen attitudes to the opinions of others, pragmatic action, peace of mind and the relationship between them. On the whole, I agree with her – being at the mercy of other people’s opinions is not a great deal of help in life, and focusing on what needs doing is a very good way of doing the right thing.
But, where are the Celts in all of this? I’m not a great historian but my impression of the Celts includes a fondness of showing off, a desire to be thought well of, not just to be heroic, but to be seen to be heroic by those around you. It’s not enough to live an excellent and blameless life, someone should notice and write a song about it. My impression of Celtic culture would include an idea of vigorously defending your honour from attack by others, both in word and in deed. My notion of the historical Druids sits them in that Celtic culture. I don’t imagine them being entirely self effacing!
I’m also conscious that in a Celtic tribe, or village, with honour a consideration all round, there would be wholly different social structures and mechanisms to our contemporary circumstances. A culture that actively praises honourable and heroic behaviour, and where reputation is far more of an issue than bank balance, is very different to our way of life.
The more I think about it, the more interesting I find it. From a perspective of my own wellbeing, there is much to be said for cultivating a disinterest in the opinions of others, in favour of considering only what it is right and necessary to do. However, that either assumes that ‘right’ and ‘necessary’ are going to be easy to identify, or that I am comfortable trusting my own judgement. Jo’s blog has a story of a Zen Master, someone who pretty much by definition is going to be able to trust their own judgement. I’m a long way short of that, and the feedback I get from other people is part of what helps me decide whether I’m making good choices and decisions, and what is actually needed.
Experience to date suggests that verbally defending my honour to those who think ill of me, has been a total waste of time. I can’t think of a single instance where someone has really taken against me, and been persuaded otherwise by my own words, offered in my own defence. Admittedly, my life is not awash with examples to consider. But I can’t think of many instances where words alone seem to have swayed anyone’s opinion much. Partly because anyone can say anything, with very little effort and a minimum of imagination. “Oh no I didn’t,” can be offered as a defence against any accusation.
Actions speak in a wholly different way. The quality, consistency, usefulness, well-consideredness and the like of a person’s actions speak for them. Someone who apologises and then works to make up for their mistake, is far more credible than someone who merely speaks. Someone who acknowledges error is far easier to believe than a person who always thinks they are right in all things and cannot hear alternative perspectives. Your bombastic, boasting Celt is only going to be able to stand on the table and loudly defend his honour if he can say things like ‘you know I was right at the front in the last cattle raid. You know I am a generous host, a good friend, a brave warrior and that I once strangled a wild boar with my bare hands.” Really, it’s the actions that are speaking, the words are just a reminder.
And the right actions, only come if you’re focused on doing the right things, for the right reasons. That’s not about being deaf to other people’s opinions, it’s about working out which bits are important, what needs responding to, where to stand firm, where to be compassionate and so forth. It’s about getting under the surface to the essence of the issue. Jo offered a story in which there was a surface tale of honour attacked, and a more essential tale of a vulnerable child in need of protection. Humans are very good at noise and surface. Until we try and dig deeper, to find the heart of a matter, it’s difficult to act well. It’s taken me a long time to really learn that people who seem controlling and domineering are often fearful, for example. It’s so tempting to respond to the surface behaviour and be defensive, or even aggressive in return. But responding to the underlying fear and giving reassurance instead, changes everything. Not taking things too personally is, as Jo points out, is a good place to start.
