Should an adult student's bad behavior be accepted just because that's "the way they are"?
Should we excuse bad behavior fromsomeone simply because that is “the way they are”? That question arrived from alongtime reader from the Midwest we’re calling Maggie.
Severalmonths ago, Maggie was asked to fill in as a substitute instructor in an adulteducation class. “I still teach that class on occasion when the regularinstructor is not able to do it,” wrote Maggie. “I’m the only person who willcover for her … because of one person in particular.”
Thatperson “finds a way to correct me … every single class,” wrote Maggie. “Moreoften than not it is said in a very angry way.”
Maggiemade it clear to me that she does not fill in as a substitute because she needsthe money. “I am doing it only to be kind to the other instructor,” she wrote,and to be kind to those taking the class.
Afterspeaking to the people running the classes, Maggie wrote that she was told “notto worry about it, that is just the way she is.”
ButMaggie wants to know if it is really ethical to excuse bad behavior from peoplejust because that is “the way they are.”
“Isit right that we should all have to be careful around someone who is mean toothers just because they are always cranky and mean?” Maggie asked. “At whatpoint do they have to take responsibility for their bad behavior?”
Maggiewondered if it was reasonable to talk to the challenging student and try to gether to behave better. “Or is this a lost cause because ‘that is just the wayshe is’”?
“Itreally does make it hard to have a good attitude while teaching,” Maggie wrote.
WhileI agree with the observation that some students can just be negative, I do notagree that Maggie should accept such behavior in her class if she believes itis affecting the rest of the students’ ability to learn and her own ability toteach.
Teachingcan be challenging, and as Maggie has discovered, there’s no guarantee thatevery student will be positive and receptive to learning. If Maggie gets no joyfrom substituting as a teacher for this class and she doesn’t need the money tolive on, she would not be wrong to walk away. While the rest of the studentsmay be terrific, it only takes one negative voice or disruptive student toaffect the entire class.
Butif Maggie would like to continue to teach, I believe the right thing is to talkto the negative student in as frank a manner possible. Not to scold her or totell her to keep her mouth shut, but to let her know that her comments make itchallenging for Maggie to engage the rest of the students. Maggie couldencourage the student to speak with her after the class and go over any“suggestions” or “observations” she cares to make. It could be that thedisruptive student partly just wants to make her presence known. Giving heranother way of doing this might help.
Iftalking with the student doesn’t improve her behavior, then it might be timefor Maggie to decide she will not substitute for this particular class. Thatmight not be the preferred result, but there are times when walking away is thebest option.
Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice, is a senior lecturer in public policy and director of the communications program at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of www.jeffreyseglin.com, a blog focused on ethical issues.
Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to jeffreyseglin@gmail.com.
Follow him on Twitter @jseglin
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