When readers share wisdom or kindness, I listen
InFebruary, I received an email from M.F., a reader who lives in Mission Viejo,California. The subject line of the email was simply: “How are you?”
M.F. reminded me that he had written me 17 years agoafter reading the column when it appeared in the Orange County Register. Itseemed clear from his email that M.F. thought I worked for the Orange CountyRegister at the time, which I never did. It was one of the newspapers that ranthe column. Back then, I used the full names of readers who had written me, buta long time ago began using their initials or pseudonyms to help protect theiridentities since articles tend to have a long shelf life online.
“You were kind enough to mention my comments aboutyour ethics column in a subsequent follow-up,” he wrote. Apparently, M.F. hadbeen doing his regular search of his name on the internet “to make sureincorrect information doesn’t appear,” and our interaction came up in theresults.
“I remember your kindness,” he wrote, and he thenvisited my website to see what I was up to. “I was happy to see that you arestill writing.” M.F. closed by writing that he hoped his email finds me happyand healthy and that I “continue to do well.”
Many things have changed over the past 17 years.Back then, the column was syndicated by a different company. I was five yearsaway from accepting an offer to teach at the university from which I’m about toretire. The character of Ted Lasso hadn’t been revealed to the world yet.
Doing some internet searching of my own, Idiscovered M.F. had written me about a column I wrote finding nothing wrongwith people picking up recyclable cans from others’ town-issued recycling bins.He pointed out that such acts can divert funding from a municipality’srecycling efforts. M.F. made a valid point and I amended my advice to suggestthat if a resident wanted to give their recyclable cans to someone other thanthe town, they should consider doing so directly rather than placing them inthe receptacle issued by their town.
That original column on recycling to which M.F.responded remains the second most-viewed column on the website where I haveposted columns after they have had their run since January 2006.
I mention M.F.’s February email not because ofanything to do with recycling, however, but instead because he took the time toacknowledge my kindness for running his response. Such actions might appearsmall, but they can have an outsized impact. That readers like M.F. care enoughto take the time to write even when they have no particular question or gripesparks joy.
I ended the column where M.F.’s response wasfeatured by acknowledging that I trusted I could count on M.F. and otherreaders “to do the right thing by continuing to share their wisdom with me.”Even 17 years later, that sentiment holds true.
Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice, is a senior lecturer in public policy and director of the communications program at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of www.jeffreyseglin.com, a blog focused on ethical issues.
Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to jeffreyseglin@gmail.com.
Follow him on Twitter @jseglin
(c) 2023 JEFFREY L. SEGLIN. Distributed by TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC.
