Two ways to polish ideas up real nice like

[image error] Last time we were dancing around the mulberry brush sprinkling kerosene on it and waving a match near its imaginary face... for science! No, it was to see if we could make plant life a little less lazy and more pro-active. No, wait, that was my date.... In my blog, we were discussing finding and developing unique ideas. We surmised, or rather, I told you, young grasshopper, that the first thing I do with an idea is to ask what is unique about it.

Today, I want to give you a comforting shot of liquid tranquilizer through this fireman's house inserted up your rectum, and then I'm going to tell you something comforting. The rectum bit was just for fun, to see how you would react. It wasn't necessary at all. That's not the comforting thing. I'd imagine that got you worrying about all sorts of things, least being your bloody prolapsed anus (really, you should see a doctor). The comforting thing is that if you can't find anything unique, it doesn't mean it's a bad idea and that you are a bad person. Though you probably won't be able to wear a white gown of innocence any time soon. Actually, you probably shouldn't wear any white with your backside bleeding like that. Well, I say bleeding, more like 'gushing' really.

No, your idea isn't necessarily a waste of your pathetically short, painful existence. It's just, like a soldier with a bag full of grenades and a missing pin, we're going to have to dig around a bit more... and rather quickly.

Maybe you're tired. Maybe you've had a bad day. Maybe you are just that stupid. You've come up with a boring idea that's been done to death. We can still save it. Let's take vampires as a starter point. Oh no! Vampires have been done to death and they've come back again - quite literally! But maybe your heart is really set on writing a vampire story. So we have to dig around. You need to find a unique angle. Think about what everyone knows and automatically assumes about vampires (e.g. they drink blood, hate sunlight, etc.). Hell, make a list if it satisfies your organizational inner geek. Now you have two paths to choose from and follow. Unlike most paths you can try and follow both of these without having some serious spatial problems.

First of all, you can take this list and turn it on its head. You're probably staring at a piece of paper with some upside down words on it now, aren't you? Dufus! But I didn't mean physically, I meant conceptually. Turn the ideas on their heads. What if you wrote about a vampire that was vegetarian and hated blood? What if you wrote about a vampire that loved the sunlight and went out in it as often as he could. What kind of precautions would he take to avoid death? What would he look like? What might he encounter out there and how might he (or they) react? Oh my god! We are getting close to developing plot points and an actual story concept!

The second path is a little more vague. If it were a path in a forest it would be partially covered by long grass and tree roots. It would be hiding a few skeletons and certainly some lost treasure too. Basically, you can look at that list and see what has been left out. Vampires like blood and hate sunlight right? So what about vampires that crave vodka and hate mimes? What about vampires who sparkle in sunlight? What kind of world would they live in? Oh my God! What kind of nightmare world would they live in?! A twisted world where plain girls with no personality, one expression and the moral fibre of a gym sock are considered hot babes no doubt.

Hey, I said the exercise would give you ideas, not GOOD ideas. Like any process it has it's flaws. Still, a crap idea can earn you millions. In case you haven't figured it out, I just described Twilight.