How Body-shaming Is Harmful

“Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged, and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye.”  ~Matthew 7: 1-3 (King James)

OR

“Do not judge, so that you will not be judged. For the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye.” ~Matthew 7: 1-3 (New American Standard Bible)

I generally do not begin a post with a quote, and especially not a Bible quote. Now, let me go ahead and get this out of the way before continuing. Likely, some people have already tuned out from this blog because anything “religious” or “spiritual” is a turnoff. And usually what comes next is often seen as “preachy.” This post is not intended to be either of those things. It was a good that was appropriate for today’s topic. So, if you’ve hung around this far, thank you. Please give this post a chance and read it with an open mind.

Generally, I prefer to begin posts with the rationale or motivation from a post. Many times, that inspiration comes from something that I’ve recently heard, seen, experienced, or have been told. This post is not much of an exception and has spun out of something several friends and coworkers have expressed over several months. It also is a topic that has been creeping into the news headlines in various forms. I’m speaking of Body Dysmorphia. I used the word various because Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) as described in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders Fifth Edition Text Revision (DSM-5-TR) is the preoccupation with one or more perceived defects or flaws in physical appearance that are not observable or appear slight to others. There are several terms to note in this definition.

Perceived. Perceived has several meanings: to regard something in a particular way, to become conscious or aware of something, or to look at or interpret something. Within these definitions is an implication of subjectivity. The way a person perceives something may not be accurate or truthful because the person has subjectively interpreted it.Deficits. A deficit means an impairment or failure in ability in a functional capacity.Flaws. A flaw is something that is defective, imperfect, and/or weak and that lessens or undermines effectiveness.Not observable or appear slight. This is self-explanatory. Either something isn’t there because it doesn’t exist or it is so minor or trivial that most people do not notice.

Putting this all together, the Body Dysmorphic definition comes to mean a subjective self-impression or awareness of impairment, defect, and/or weakness that decreases a person’s effectiveness but does not exist in reality or is barely noticeable to others. that’s some heavy-duty negativity and self-hate right there. But what if what a person is focusing on is factual and observable by many? What if a person was diagnosed by his/her physician as morbidly obese? Would a person in this instance who is dissatisfied with his/her appearance be diagnosed with BDD if all other criteria are met? My answer is no because in this scenario the full criteria (i.e., not observable or slight in appearance) have not been met. So, where does it leave people who are experiencing this?

Some psychologists use the term Body Image Dissatisfaction (BID) to describe this. However, this is not a term found in DSM-5-TR (at least, I did not find it there. Don’t take my word for it. Check for yourself.) According to the National Library of Medicine (NLM) and the National Institutes of Health (NIH), BID consists of a person’s negative subjective evaluation of himself/herself that concerns his/her weight or body shape.

This is how today’s post played out. About four years ago, a mutual associate began experiencing some health issues. She did not share the specifics of those health issues with the other individuals who inspired this topic. However, knowing the specifics weren’t anything necessary. She began many diets and failed. Then, approximately two years ago, she met someone who educated her on a controversial way to lose weight. Her weight loss was successful, and she shed close to eighty pounds in approximately six months. Although she advocates for the method she used, many medical studies have shown it to be dangerous, especially for individuals who have certain medical conditions. It is for this reason that I will not share in this post the method that she used. Additionally, she has come to believe that this method will work for anyone and everyone when scientific data has shown otherwise.

After her weight loss, she received many compliments, and her self-esteem increased. These were positives until they tipped her over into fanaticism. Everything for her is about weight. She does not go fifteen minutes without mentioning her weight or someone else’s. And here’s how she does it. Even with her weight loss (at this point nearly ninety pounds), she is not a thin woman is remains over her ideal body weight. When she speaks of her weight loss, it is with pride and a boast of how much she has lost. Don’t get it twisted. She has accomplished a lot and should be proud of her accomplishment. She should be able to say without criticism, “Hey, look at me and what I’ve done.” The issue is when she speaks of herself, she speaks as if she’s a wispy woman as if she’s light as air. “These clothes are just huge on me.” She makes it a production and front and center that everyone in her presence be made to know that she’s lost weight. Okay, so be it. However, she takes it a step further. Not only does she comment on her weight, but she also does so about other people, frequently using degrading language.

Professionals in the fields of medicine and physical fitness use BMI as a measure of fitness. Anyone who knows about body shapes and bone structure understands that two people can weigh the same on a scale but physically present vastly differently. Some of the people she singles out as being “heavy,” “fat,” “disgusting,” and “gross” weigh far less than she does. When other people are on a weight loss journey and fail, she criticizes them to no end. Yet, it took her many years and multiple attempts before she was successful. But she does not give others the same tolerance, compassion, or empathy. No, for them, she has harsh words and name-calling.

Things came to a head recently because this person is in a position of influence and has several minions who believe she can do no wrong. For this reason, others have not approached her about her behavior which, to many, appears to grow worse daily. However, that has not stopped these people from discussing the matter amongst themselves. During one of those conversations, a person admitted that this person’s harsh words and attitude had affected her more than she initially realized. She stated that she has become more self-conscious and critical about herself and her appearance. “I’m around her several days during the week. She can be witty at times and really brighten a day. That is why I willingly go around her—for a laugh when I’m having a bad day. But I didn’t realize how I’d allowed her negativism to seep into my subconscious. She’s never directed her harsh words toward me, but it is because I haven’t given her a reason to. I’m sure she would turn it on me if I said the wrong thing or brought attention to myself.”

The person who made the previous statement has an opportunity to expand her career but refuses to take the necessary steps due to cacophobia. Cacophobia is an intense fear of ugliness. She perceives herself as ugly because of BID. She stated that she was teased in junior high about her weight but had gotten over it once she began college and witness diverse body shapes and sizes. For many years, she was accepting (if not completely satisfied) with her physical appearance. This continued until she was transferred to a department comprised of 98% women and interacting with the woman in question. Be clear, in no way, does the person attribute or blame her cacophobia on the woman who was successful in losing weight. But it is hard to declare that she has not been a contributing factor.

This is where my journey began. I started searching for information about body-shaming and loathing oneself for his/her appearance. I learned a few interesting facts.

Currently, there are no laws that protect people who are obese from discrimination. There are also no anti-discrimination laws to protect persons who are underweight. However, persons who are obese (especially those who are what is termed morbidly obese are more likely to be discriminated against based on appearance. One reason for this is stereotyping.Many negative stereotypes are associated with being overweight (e.g., being unclean, smelling bad, greedy, lazy, etc.) One of the persons I spoke with stated that she had been relatively thin her entire life. When she got married in her mid-thirties, she decided to take the Depo shot as a form of birth control. Soon after, she began gaining weight and eventually gained more than forty pounds. Despite diet and exercise, she has been unable to lose most of that weight. Due to her short stature, the weight gain is extremely noticeable. Her coworkers began referring to her as “Butterball” and informing her that she used to be cute. She expressed that some people were turned off by her experience including her husband and that it affected her self-esteem. He told her that she wasn’t doing enough to lose weight and would chastise her for her weight. He signed her up for Weight Watchers and began monitoring all of the meals they shared. When she continued to fail to lose weight, he accused her of snacking at work. She would go for days without eating. His words towards her became crueler and more frequent until he was belittling her almost constantly. He informed her that he was not attracted to her and eventually began engaging in extramarital affairs. Additionally, he blamed her for his cheating, stating he would have never done it if she hadn’t gotten fat. The irony is that it was he who had pushed for her to take the Depo shot. He did not want children (she did) but also did not want to use condoms and felt the Depo shot would be “error-proof” protection.Eating disorders. There exists a high correlation between persons who are overweight and eating disorders. Many people would assume that persons who are overweight overeat or make poor eating choices. Sometimes this is the case. Other times, excessive weight gain may be due to medical conditions or medications. One person I spoke with expressed that she had two medical conditions (along with her age) that make losing weight difficult. However, she stated a bigger problem is that the more weight that she gains, the more difficult it is for her to exercise. Her stamina has decreased and she has joint pain. “It’s a cycle. One reason I began gaining (weight) is that I was in a lot of physical pain from a back injury. It hurt to move. I could barely walk or roll over in the bed. I did everything slowly. Vigorous exercising wasn’t something I could do. The more sedentary I became, the more the pounds packed on.”Ridicule. One person I interviewed summed it up nicely. “People want you to lose weight and make fun of you when you do. They make hateful and rude comments that they don’t think you can hear. Or sometimes they don’t care that you do. When you go to a gym, they mock you for sweating too much, how you look in exercise clothes, or breathing hard from the workout. They don’t look at you as a person who is trying to work on herself. They look at you as a joke, and that hurts. But they don’t care that it hurts because they don’t see you as a person or their equal. They think you deserve harsh words and should be allowed to take up space on Earth.”Debilitating Trauma. Another interviewee said the following. “I was teased horribly during junior high and high school. However, it started when I was in fourth grade, only I did not recognize it for what it was. I had what I thought was a group of close friends. One day, I went to school, and they all had turned against me. I didn’t know what I had done to or how I had offended any of them. One of them finally said that her grandmother told her not to play with me because I was “too fat.” I began staying away from them—these people who had been to my home and stayed the night too many times to count. Now, I was an enemy because I wasn’t skinny like they were. I kept my distance for a long time. After a few months, some of them began to reconsider and wanted to associate with me again. They acted like it had never happened. But it shook me that people could and would suddenly walk out of my life so swiftly. I know we were children, but it hurt a lot. I lost contact with them as we ended up at different schools a few years later. When I joined social media, I received friend requests from most of them. I asked myself why would they think I would want to be their friend. I accepted just to see where it would lead. None of them has ever acknowledged what they did. And the same went for my bullies in junior high and high school. They reached out to be friends on social media. They don’t have cruel words. In fact, they are nice now, wishing me merry on my birthday or when I post a positive event that has occurred in my life. They act as if their past actions had no effect on me, and none of them has ever said sorry. But their actions have affected me. There are certain places I will not go to or events that I will not participate in. I understand that as an adult it is my choice not to do these things. However, I’m triggered, and I’m mortally afraid. It’s not as simple as moving on. The thought of putting on a bathing suit spins me into a panic attack.”Social Isolation. Persons who suffer from BID frequently are ostracized by others or self-isolated due to fear of being shamed, degraded, or teased. Rather than taking the risk, they choose avoidance.Decreased Opportunity for Work Promotions. Many case studies have shown that persons who are obese tend to be offered opportunities for advancement in the workplace less than their thinner counterparts. Again, part of this can be linked to biases and stereotypes that persons who are overweight are lazy and unclean, and many employers do not want them to be the “face” of their businesses. Even in circumstances when the thinner employee is underqualified, employers will opt for appearance over skill. Again, this type of discrimination is not against the law. In fact, this behavior is so ingrained in some people that they do not realize they have a bias or prejudice. And this lack of opportunity for advancement can extend further. If it causes one to remain in a lower-paying job, one may not eat healthily because he/she cannot afford it. Healthy food alternatives often cost much more than processed food.Mental Health Issues. This post already discussed trauma, but to expand on that, having BID can create feelings of anxiety and depression. Anxiety, of course, can trigger panic attacks, and depression and lead to isolating oneself, loneliness, feelings of low self-esteem, poor self-image, and low self-worth. Bullying can lead to feelings of fear and nervousness. In severe cases, this may lead to thoughts of self-harm and suicide. If you or someone you know are having feelings of this nature, struggling emotionally, or having a difficult time, call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Life Line or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Help is available twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.

That concludes this post. Now, it’s your turn to sound off. What did you think? What is your take on the subject? Do you agree or disagree? Did you find this information helpful or informative? Did you learn anything new, or did it change your opinion? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section. Also, let me know if you would like me to cover more of these types of topics or dive deeper into this one. If you like this post, please click the like button and share it. Your feedback allows me to know the content that you want to read. If you’re not following me on Creole Bayou blog, what are you waiting for? There’s always room at the bayou.

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Author Bio

Genevive Chamblee resides in the Bayou country where sweet tea and SEC football reign supreme. She is known for being witty (or so she thinks), getting lost anywhere beyond her front yard (the back is pushing it as she’s very geographically challenged), falling in love with shelter animals (and she adopts them), asking off-the-beaten-path questions that make one go “hmm”, and preparing home-cooked Creole meals that are as spicy as her writing. Genevive specializes in spinning steamy, romantic tales with humorous flair, diverse characters, and quirky views of love and human behavior. She also is not afraid to delve into darker romances as well.