Clarify your real value!

Put those two boxes on the table, please!

I want to articulate the difference between your real, innate value and how culture and society see your value.

Let me take you on a guided visualization. Seriously, unless you are driving, take the time to close your eyes and visualize! Now just relax, as you close your eyes take a few seconds to breathe deep and get comfortable.

You are in a small room. Picture a small table with two boxes on top. A fireplace is warm and crackling in the corner. Focus on the two boxes. They are both strikingly different. The first one is called the "Value box". The other one is called the "Ego box".

Value vs. Ego

The "Value box'' is very plain, about the size of a shoe box. No shipping labels, no Amazon logo and no colored packing tape. Every person has this same box, this box will never change. Your neighbor, your friend or your enemy, the box is the same. Take a deep breath, close those eyes and picture this clearly in your mind, embed it deeply somewhere so as to see it often. This box can’t be touched or seen with the eye but it can be felt and known. I will refer to this box many times.

The other box is much different from the “Value box”. The second box I call the “Ego box". This box is nothing like the “Value box". The “Ego box'' has lots of labels. This box is different for every person, no two “Ego boxes” have ever been alike. The sizes will vary and change. Unlike the “Value box”, our “Ego box” will never be the same for very long. When you are five or fifteen or fifty years old, this box will look very different.

The Ego box can be damaged or destroyed and marred. It can be crushed, burned or run over, for sure it is fragile, we should be careful with this box. The Ego box is all about our external self, it’s everything about you that can be physically touched or seen. It’s our abilities and skill sets or lack thereof, it’s our appearance and maybe even our culture and choices. Your reputation is in this box. All the things you can learn and know are in this box. You can learn computer skills, plumbing, science, medical stuff, history, biology and a million other things. The worth and value of this box can change often according to the perception of ourselves or others. Kind of like the stock market, up and down but always volatile according to the “market”.

Real Value vs. Perceived Value.

Always keep these boxes separate, this will get much easier in time. The more clearly we can see these two boxes separated, the less the “Ego box” will affect our “Value box”. Okay, got that image in your head? Go ahead, I’ll wait until you do. Yes it’s important.

This may seem quite elementary, you may be thinking “dude, let’s just get some crayons out and color us a picture”! You can use your own visualization if you would like. I’m just illustrating this so you can have an “image anchor”, as you become aware of how you perceive value.

Keep those boxes separated!

The Value box is what I imagine when I ask people how they view their own value and that of other people. Often we confuse the commodity of our knowledge and skill sets (Ego box) with our actual value (Value box). These two boxes are very different. Be clear on this because it matters!