This has hit It Can Only Happen To Rachel levels

I'm fine, cats are fine, chickens are fine. BUT we had 91 inches of snow. That's a little under 8 feet, or 2.31 meters. Crestline hasn't gotten this much snow in 50 years.

I am under 5-8 feet of snow. There is a wall of ice surrounding my place. A neighbor had to hack steps in it so I could climb down to the street to get to his place because...

...my phone and internet are both down. ONLY MINE. My cable snapped in the storm. Once I'm in the house, I can't communicate at all. I'm posting from the neighbor's place.

To get out of the house, I have to go through snow up to my waist. I have to climb along the staircase to get down to the street as the snow around my lot is higher than my head.

My car is completely buried in snow. There is a 12-foot berm of solid ice blocking it.

I still have no running water.

The chicken run door now won't close properly because it swelled or something, so it's tied shut.

The local supermarket and Ace Hardware both had their roofs collapse.

Please write me fanfic or amusing reviews or something, I will appreciate it when I get back online.

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