How Do You Connect to the Other Side?

Lately people have been asking me a recurring question. What does it take to actually connect with a loved one in the Afterlife? Or even our Higher Power, or Spirit, or Guides… or even the Universe?

Is it true what people say—that ‘anyone can do it?’

From my experience, I’d say it is. And by no means am I an expert in all of this. But here is what I get.

The long and the short of it is … surrender.

Yes, surrender. That’s how I became able to receive Teal’s otherworldly energy after her death. She came to me again and again and again after her death. First it was in little whispers, then a tingly energy that would whoosh through my body, and ultimately there she was, in my dreams and even in waking visions.

What it took was surrender, as in lovingly detaching from the circumstances of my life for a while. Which wasn’t hard when she first appeared, because I was so disabled by grief all I could do WAS surrender.

What I learned was invaluable.

In this state of beingness, we naturally empty ourselves out. We forget about our To Do’s… or better yet, we just don’t do them. For today, at least.

And most of all, we quit worrying. And we let go of all expectations of… well, anything, really.

It doesn’t work to ‘try to still my mind so Uncle Bob will come rushing in’. We can’t have an agenda. Instead, we practice something Teal wrote about repeatedly in her journals: we practice Being. ‘Be and you know,” she wrote.

To do this, you must still your mind and let it go blank. Allow yourself to return to a state of nothingness…to a resolute calm that simply is. Chances are this is how you woke up today—before coffee, your phone, headlines, deadlines and the pull of your text messages and social media got on board.

This alpha state that lingers between sleep and wakefulness is often where we find our clearest spiritual guidance. It doesn’t last long, but it is real. And the messages can be remarkably cogent.

In Free Spirited, my new memoir about tapping into this vast well spring of inspiration, I write about one particular waking vision that was life changing.

When I had this vision, Teal had been dead for almost two years. Throughout that entire period I hadn’t worked. Instead, I lived very simply and frugally on my savings. And I was beginning to wonder how and if I’d ever get back to earning a living.

Financially, the time had come… but was my heart healed enough to jump back into things? I wasn’t sure.

In the vision, Teal spoke to me from behind the locked door of the bathroom just up the hallway. Brilliant white light seeped out around the edges of the doorway, and I knew she was in there. And that she had a message for me.

“Is that you?” I asked and she told me it was.

“Why won’t you let me see you?” I asked her.

“I don’t want you to get distracted,” she replied.

Then I asked her what her message was for me, and this is what she said. “You are whole and complete and ready to go back to work.”

In my heart, I knew she was right. Not surprisingly, paid work writing fiction showed up less than a month later, unbidden. Here was the next right thing for me to do.

If you’re confused about something, or feeling like you need some guidance, ask for it as you begin to go to sleep. Ask your guides, your deceased loved ones, or God, or whoever you think might be listening for the clarity you seek.

Then don’t be surprised if it shows up when you least expect it. Perhaps it won’t appear the next morning, but maybe it will in the next week. Again, detachment and being in flow is the key.

Expect nothing but embrace all that comes. You can ask for direct guidance. You can ask for clues along the way. This gift is yours to embrace.

Enjoy it, my friend. For it is, indeed, magic.

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