Time to re-evaluate
Einstein said “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” I have been accused of worse. Perhaps it is a certain age or a particular time in my life that is pushing me in a direction of re-evaluating how I approach…well, life. Perhaps we all go through this at “our time.”
If I were to live to be 90, then a full two-thirds of my life have passed. Maybe it will only be to 75, then there is significantly less time available. The thing is we don’t know. Right now, my biggest focus has been moving (or downsizing) and putting forth a continuing effort toward planning for retirement. These are paramount. What my wife and I do now, in the next several months, will completely impact how the rest of my life will be.
So, be it.
I have commented numerous times in the past (both in this forum, other social media, and in general conversation) that writing and cooking are my two most significant creative outputs. Without them, I am not me. I am not anyone. Certainly not this entity I have become over 60 years. So, those facets remain. Yet there is only so much time and energy to devote or offer to other sources. This is where I need to be meticulous about the most judicious use of my time.
I can sit here in my office and focus on the numerous Works In Progress on my list. I can even go to the local library and do deep research, if required. This will keep the creative side of the brain functioning. However, beyond that, I’m choosing to stay close to home, notwithstanding local events and visitations with those in my close-knit circle.
Sadly, I have withdrawn socially, perhaps as a result of the pandemic lockdown and the extreme divisiveness in this country. I no longer have the strength or desire to fight the incredibly mean-spirited people who have come out from under rocks and oozed from the slime. Currently, I have only a dinner group that meets every other month. This is an easy level of participation because, well, we all have to eat, right? Additionally, they are a like-minded group of folks who create a comfortable environment when I am around them. But I look at events I see advertised and have, at least at this point in time, no desire to be in attendance.
It just may be that I am still trying to decide who I want to be. Sometimes we don’t get to choose. We become, evolve, on a natural basis, as circumstances surrounding us dictate. We’d like to think we are in control more than in fact we are. Nevertheless, it is necessary to go through the process.
Over the last twenty years, I have put forth a great effort at learning and being involved in social media, developing a platform, and making myself available when asked to do so. I am going to take Einstein’s advise. I am going to try something different. We’ll see what the results are.
