Our 8th anniversary as a partnership

I have a weird relationship with anniversaries. Logically, I see that they are a means of simply celebrating our partners (when we should do that regardless of the date). But there’s also the sentimental part of me who loves meaning and connection and stories. Anniversaries are stories.

We officially became a couple in the most teen way possible! Embarrassing a little but also so sweet and innocent. It meant so much to me at the time, and even now, as someone who didn’t feel seen or truly loved by anyone else. Anyone who wasn’t born having to love me. That he saw me, and continued to look and see, is astounding to me. I still ask him, “why do you love me?” And this incredible man has an answer every time. Sure, it’s sometimes the same. But that’s okay. He does, of course, love me for all the same or similar reasons as the first time I asked. His vocabulary and how we communicate with one another has grown more articulate over time, and so the words may change, but in general, it always means the same thing.

I love you because I love what I see in you. I love what we see together when we gaze at the world. I love that you chose this journey with me.

Eight years is no short time. For some, our relationship was only made real this year, the year we got married. But you’ve always been there. A part of the furniture. And I don’t say that in a negative way, as if your presence is small and unnoticed. To the contrary, your presence is grand. You are my home. And you know me, home is my favourite place to be.

We past the dreaded 7 year slump without slumping much! We’ve gotten fat together and fit together. Cried together and laughed together. Said things we didn’t mean and tried to mend those wounds with bandages of apologies. We’ve learned and memorised every nook and cranny within and outside of one another. We breathe the same air and give each other life.

But I respect and value the space we give each other too. We know that to soar means blowing air into each other’s sails and letting the other explore, even if they feel far away at times. We trust that we’ll always anchor at the same harbour. We are each other’s lighthouse.

Metaphors aside, I love my husband. I love that he is my husband even though I don’t feel old enough or capable enough to be a married woman! I am so effing proud of him and us and all we’ve withstood together. I hope we continue to look and see the same things as one another. Shared values and mutual respect. Trust and connection. Faith. I feel both held and free by you, my husband, and that’s the most important feeling in the world.

Happy anniversary, my star

Sincerely,

Your wife xx