Truth is Stranger Than Fiction… Is it though? Is it Really?
So, people do say that, “truth is stranger than fiction.” Then, people say a lot of things, most of the time without even thinking about what they are actually, saying. Time honoured phrases, that trip off the tongue in certain situations, platitudes and cliches. Conversation on auto pilot.
“So, I turned round and said…”
“Then he turned round and said…”
Stop it both of you, all that turning round is making me dizzy.
“Well, you know what they say?” No, no I don’t and I don’t think you do either.
“The best laid plans…” You’re quoting a poet and you probably don’t know it.
Anyway, you get the idea. That one though, “Truth is Stranger Than Fiction.” That one always makes me go, “nope,” really it isn’t, not most of the time. Give me fiction any day. Then, I would say that wouldn’t I, you know, because I write fiction.
Most of the time, the truth is dull, the truth is a spoil sport.
UFOs? Misidentified stuff, clouds, balloons, party lanterns, birds, satellites, commercial aircraft, military aircraft… maybe the odd sneaky secret aircraft.
Ghosts? Psychology and circumstance, insects and animals, the wind, the light and pareidolia.
Cryptids? Misidentified ordinary everyday animals, psychology and circumstance, wishful thinking.
The truth even spoils things that are absolutely one hundred percent real.
Dinosaurs for instance. For a long time, we thought they were these gigantic, scaly dragon-like creatures, like nothing alive today. Turns out, that apart from those properly enormous guys with the long necks, most of them were nothing like as big as you think and covered in feathers. The famous Velociraptor wasn’t a scary seven-foot dragon, it was a big, very bitey, turkey. Most of the famous dinosaurs are related to chickens… T Rex, enormous chicken, with big sharp teeth. The age of the dinosaurs? The age of the quite big poultry more like...
Jurassic Park, the epic creatures of Ray Harryhausen… They were so much better.
Who amongst you has fallen for those hyped-up astronomical events? You know the stuff, it gets all over the internet, the TV, print media. “Astonishing sight in our skies tonight, won’t be seen again for a century.” To observe this, “astonishing sight” it is necessary to go out into your garden at two in the morning in the middle of winter with a telescope. The problem is that they are never that astonishing.
OK, to be fair, from an intellectual standpoint I can appreciate that when I am freezing my a** of looking for comet whatever, I am seeing an object that is millions of years old, millions of miles away and not coming back for a hundred years and yes that is astonishing. But… what I am actually seeing in the night sky, is a vague fuzzy blur that I probably wouldn’t even have noticed if I hadn’t known it was there. It is so far away that the telescope I am clutching in my ice-cold hands makes little or no difference to its appearance, turning it into an ever so slightly larger fuzzy blur.
I’ve seen Comets in movies, on TV and in my imagination. They were huge, burning balls of rock streaking across the sky, trailing a fiery tail behind them. Mr Truth says, if they really looked like that and not a small fuzzy blur, then we would all be doomed. Boring!
Then there are all those historical figures who weren’t who we thought they were, or didn’t actually do the thing they were famous for, or go to the place they were famous for discovering. The list goes on.
Oh, so many disappointments…
Truth is stranger than fiction? No, sorry, the truth is a spoilsport. Truth is not stranger than fiction. The truth is almost always much more boring and mundane.
So, buy more books I say, spend more time divorced from reality, reality stinks, retreat from it, get as far away from it as possible. Just do it, you know it makes sense.
***
Disclaimer: This is a light hearted opinion piece, voicing a wildly exaggerated opinion for comedic purposes and not actually a recommendation for a balanced lifestyle. I am not responsible for the mental or physical health of anyone who decides to follow my ludicrous advice.
Afterthought: should internet influencers also post disclaimers like that?
“So, I turned round and said…”
“Then he turned round and said…”
Stop it both of you, all that turning round is making me dizzy.
“Well, you know what they say?” No, no I don’t and I don’t think you do either.
“The best laid plans…” You’re quoting a poet and you probably don’t know it.
Anyway, you get the idea. That one though, “Truth is Stranger Than Fiction.” That one always makes me go, “nope,” really it isn’t, not most of the time. Give me fiction any day. Then, I would say that wouldn’t I, you know, because I write fiction.
Most of the time, the truth is dull, the truth is a spoil sport.
UFOs? Misidentified stuff, clouds, balloons, party lanterns, birds, satellites, commercial aircraft, military aircraft… maybe the odd sneaky secret aircraft.
Ghosts? Psychology and circumstance, insects and animals, the wind, the light and pareidolia.
Cryptids? Misidentified ordinary everyday animals, psychology and circumstance, wishful thinking.
The truth even spoils things that are absolutely one hundred percent real.
Dinosaurs for instance. For a long time, we thought they were these gigantic, scaly dragon-like creatures, like nothing alive today. Turns out, that apart from those properly enormous guys with the long necks, most of them were nothing like as big as you think and covered in feathers. The famous Velociraptor wasn’t a scary seven-foot dragon, it was a big, very bitey, turkey. Most of the famous dinosaurs are related to chickens… T Rex, enormous chicken, with big sharp teeth. The age of the dinosaurs? The age of the quite big poultry more like...
Jurassic Park, the epic creatures of Ray Harryhausen… They were so much better.
Who amongst you has fallen for those hyped-up astronomical events? You know the stuff, it gets all over the internet, the TV, print media. “Astonishing sight in our skies tonight, won’t be seen again for a century.” To observe this, “astonishing sight” it is necessary to go out into your garden at two in the morning in the middle of winter with a telescope. The problem is that they are never that astonishing.
OK, to be fair, from an intellectual standpoint I can appreciate that when I am freezing my a** of looking for comet whatever, I am seeing an object that is millions of years old, millions of miles away and not coming back for a hundred years and yes that is astonishing. But… what I am actually seeing in the night sky, is a vague fuzzy blur that I probably wouldn’t even have noticed if I hadn’t known it was there. It is so far away that the telescope I am clutching in my ice-cold hands makes little or no difference to its appearance, turning it into an ever so slightly larger fuzzy blur.
I’ve seen Comets in movies, on TV and in my imagination. They were huge, burning balls of rock streaking across the sky, trailing a fiery tail behind them. Mr Truth says, if they really looked like that and not a small fuzzy blur, then we would all be doomed. Boring!
Then there are all those historical figures who weren’t who we thought they were, or didn’t actually do the thing they were famous for, or go to the place they were famous for discovering. The list goes on.
Oh, so many disappointments…
Truth is stranger than fiction? No, sorry, the truth is a spoilsport. Truth is not stranger than fiction. The truth is almost always much more boring and mundane.
So, buy more books I say, spend more time divorced from reality, reality stinks, retreat from it, get as far away from it as possible. Just do it, you know it makes sense.
***
Disclaimer: This is a light hearted opinion piece, voicing a wildly exaggerated opinion for comedic purposes and not actually a recommendation for a balanced lifestyle. I am not responsible for the mental or physical health of anyone who decides to follow my ludicrous advice.
Afterthought: should internet influencers also post disclaimers like that?
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