You REALLY Don't Want To Know What Is On The List

I entertain many Daughters of the American Revolution chapters. So much so, that I have a few special essays in my book, TEACHER TATTLETALES and Other Southern Shenanigans, just for them. https://tinyurl.com/3k6b2wm8 The tattletales are non-fiction, but this story belongs in the shenanigans section of the book. It is an essay application for the DAR's college scholarship and grants, which is very real. This essay, however, is not...but almost! Read at your own risk.

Dear Daughters of the American Revolution Scholarship/Grant Committee,

Thank you so much for sponsoring scholarships or grants for high school students. My great aunt, that is my step-mama's aunt who is a DAR member, encouraged me to inform you of my hopes and dreams after high school.

Because of my unique skills as a hair boiler down at the town plant, I thought maybe you might be looking for someone needing a scholarship other than your typical doctor, lawyer, or teacher wannabes. Being a hair boiler pays really good money, I am told. More than teachers, I hear.

What is a hair boiler you ask? It is someone who boils animal hair until it curls and then is used in a variety of products, which I signed a contract saying I could not talk about in detail. Besides, you wouldn't want to know. Promise. I will say you'd be grossed out if you knew all the animal hair that was boiled and used in your home.

The pay that I mentioned is fantastic. I know managers down at the plant making $150,000. I just need to have a college education to become a manager someday. I am hoping you can help me achieve my dream.

Please consider me as you now see how different, yet necessary, this job is. We need hair boilers in this world.

Thank you,
Baxter Nature

Lee St. John
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