Motorcycles Do Not Like Me

My friend and faithful reader, R, said that we should get tattoos and Harleys and ride off into the sunset. I told him that we could not do that because motorcycles do not like me. (And I should point out that we live on the west coast so we would not ride very far into the sunset.)

Now I know that we should not give inanimate objects personalities or other human qualities. (The technical term is called anthropomorphism.) But it really does seem like motorcycles do not like me. I know that...