What Would Cimil Do?

If you haven’t read one of my novels then you haven’t met Cimil, Goddess of the Underworld. Now, according her, there is no Underworld. There’s only Vegas, and that doesn’t count.

So while we’re not quite sure where Cimil takes all of those souls she collects (okay…yes, yes. I do know), we are absolutely sure that Cimil LOVES chaos. And pink. Unicorns, too. Clowns…not so much. She’s also a very firm believer in blackmailing men for sex—it’s convenient and more cost effective.

So now that you know a little something about her, I thought it would be fun to teach you how to play, What Would Cimil Do?

Imagine you’re pulling into the grocery store parking lot and someone steals your spot. Your first reaction would be to honk. Or, perhaps, give them the middle finger. Now THAT is a perfect moment to play the game!

Before you take action. Stop. Ask yourself, “What would Cimil do?”

A. She would calmly go find another spot. After all, she’s a goddess. She has her position and dignity to think about, and no use losing her cool for a parking spot.

B. Cimil would handle it as a mortal might—honk plus give the middle finger.

C. She would pull a “Fried Green Tomatoes” and ram into the other car. (Although, she doesn’t have insurance, she is much older.)

D. All of the above.

Answer D: Cimil would first calmly drive away and look for another spot. But while she’s doing this, she’d realize that was no good! She’s a goddess, dammit! And Goddess of the freakin’ Underworld, no less! No one steals from her.

She’d then slam it into reverse and return to the other car. By this time, the driver would be in the store, so she’d honk her horn and give the bird to anyone in the vicinity who looked like they deserved it. (“There! That guy! He’s wearing tube socks with sandals!”) She’d then ram straight into the other vehicle, scrunching it like an accordion. Afterward, she’d get out of her car, do a little disco dance and complete her shopping…no doubt chicken fingers. Real ones. Yuck.

I hope you enjoyed this round of What Would Cimil Do? It’s a great way to defuse when you’re in an angry situation. Let the fictional characters carry out your fictional revenge! You get to keep your car insurance and avoid jail!

Have a great day!

MJ