Lost in The Noise
Imagine your favorite song on a limited edition CD. You know, the one that you could play on repeat, because something about it moves something so deep inside your soul. It lifts you, energizes you, and helps you barrel through obstacles in your path. You play it on your way to work for that extra oomph.
Then one day, you discover a huge scratch across the CD surface. You wince, and pop the CD back into the player, hoping that it wasn't over your favorite song. It was. You try patching it, but now, every time you go to play it, all that comes out is garbled noise. What once fueled you now sets you on edge. And because it was limited edition, you can't go out and get a new one. You try to sing it from memory, but you're starting to forget the words, and even the melody is fading from memory. Replaced by jarring noise. And all of your attempts to patch it up and get it to play properly only seem to make it worse. After a while, it's not just the song that won't play. The whole CD is worthless.
This is a (very poor) illustration of PTSD. And of course, PTSD is SO much more affecting, than simply not being able to hear your favorite song anymore. That "song" was your life, your family, your relationships, your hopes and dreams for life -- before the trauma. A scratch to a CD may appear small-- almost imperceptible-- but the damage is there. For the PTSD sufferer, the damage takes the form of a well-worn groove that now interrupts your daily life and activities, and keeps dragging you back to the same scenarios--over and over again... no matter how many times you try to skip to the next "song". Other people can't see it. But you can't escape it. Other people constantly ask you why you can't just "skip" that chapter of your life, and move on to the next one. You feel frustrated, even angry with and ashamed of yourself. What is wrong with you? You try to "sing the song" (that is, you try to function like a "normal" person) the way that you remember, but you struggle to remember how you did life before the trauma. And you wish so badly that you could just scrap your old life and get a new one. A new smooth, shiny, polished life, without ugly scratches and ugly noises. You wish that your own words did not reflect the ugly noise you hear and recall. Other people can't hear the noise blaring in your ears. But it is deafening for you. And unlike a CD player, you can't shut it off. It's always playing, every time you get in the proverbial driver seat and attempt to do life. Now you're on edge. You're dealing with anxiety. You shout to be heard over the noise-- noise which no one else hears. People wonder why you're loud and angry. And you wonder why you can't make it stop. It's distracting you, and even affecting your focus and driving instincts. You can't turn off the noise, and you're afraid that one day you might end up in a car accident. Your life, your family, and everything you loved-- gone.
Modern studies show that PTSD is not just a mental illness developed after trauma. It actually physically changes and scars the human brain. If you know someone who is struggling and suffering from PTSD, be kind. They are trying to live in the real world, while at the same time being trapped in their own. Let them tell their stories, and listen without judgment. Let them know that they are loved and cared about. And let them know that you are rooting for them. Tell them that it won't always be "noise". But during the time when noise is all that they can hear, be the calm stillness in their chaos. They can't find peace and quiet, when other people's judgment, impatience, and criticism are only adding to the noise.
Then one day, you discover a huge scratch across the CD surface. You wince, and pop the CD back into the player, hoping that it wasn't over your favorite song. It was. You try patching it, but now, every time you go to play it, all that comes out is garbled noise. What once fueled you now sets you on edge. And because it was limited edition, you can't go out and get a new one. You try to sing it from memory, but you're starting to forget the words, and even the melody is fading from memory. Replaced by jarring noise. And all of your attempts to patch it up and get it to play properly only seem to make it worse. After a while, it's not just the song that won't play. The whole CD is worthless.
This is a (very poor) illustration of PTSD. And of course, PTSD is SO much more affecting, than simply not being able to hear your favorite song anymore. That "song" was your life, your family, your relationships, your hopes and dreams for life -- before the trauma. A scratch to a CD may appear small-- almost imperceptible-- but the damage is there. For the PTSD sufferer, the damage takes the form of a well-worn groove that now interrupts your daily life and activities, and keeps dragging you back to the same scenarios--over and over again... no matter how many times you try to skip to the next "song". Other people can't see it. But you can't escape it. Other people constantly ask you why you can't just "skip" that chapter of your life, and move on to the next one. You feel frustrated, even angry with and ashamed of yourself. What is wrong with you? You try to "sing the song" (that is, you try to function like a "normal" person) the way that you remember, but you struggle to remember how you did life before the trauma. And you wish so badly that you could just scrap your old life and get a new one. A new smooth, shiny, polished life, without ugly scratches and ugly noises. You wish that your own words did not reflect the ugly noise you hear and recall. Other people can't hear the noise blaring in your ears. But it is deafening for you. And unlike a CD player, you can't shut it off. It's always playing, every time you get in the proverbial driver seat and attempt to do life. Now you're on edge. You're dealing with anxiety. You shout to be heard over the noise-- noise which no one else hears. People wonder why you're loud and angry. And you wonder why you can't make it stop. It's distracting you, and even affecting your focus and driving instincts. You can't turn off the noise, and you're afraid that one day you might end up in a car accident. Your life, your family, and everything you loved-- gone.
Modern studies show that PTSD is not just a mental illness developed after trauma. It actually physically changes and scars the human brain. If you know someone who is struggling and suffering from PTSD, be kind. They are trying to live in the real world, while at the same time being trapped in their own. Let them tell their stories, and listen without judgment. Let them know that they are loved and cared about. And let them know that you are rooting for them. Tell them that it won't always be "noise". But during the time when noise is all that they can hear, be the calm stillness in their chaos. They can't find peace and quiet, when other people's judgment, impatience, and criticism are only adding to the noise.
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