REVENGE
“AN eye for an eye; a tooth for a tooth.” How many eyes and teeth does it take to satisfy one hurt person’s desire for revenge? The answer: an infinite number, as one revenge begats another. Add hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands, even millions of personal revenge desires and what do you have? Today’s world, a stage upon which literally untold numbers of revenge desires being acted out, in the process, creating new ones. The problem, of course, is how to stop it.
“Turning the other cheek” works sometimes, if the person seeking revenge has any semblance of empathy left, which if left would strongly counteract the actual acting out of revenge. In my experience, it doesn’t work at all when there’s no empathy left in the victim, creating instead an ever-increasing host of sociopaths. Not a situation, often providing, in a victimizer’s mind a sort of “permission to victimize.” Not invoking violence against violence seems a complete non-sequitur, especially in a victimizer’s mind bent on revenger.
“Unrestricted Forgiveness,” like “turning the other cheek” works sometimes, but can also fuel victimizers, elevating abuse, assault and/or battery to crimes against humanity, generalized genocide and/or an invitation to continue or expand victimization. Another seeming non-sequitur, especially in a victimizer’s mind bent on revenge.
“Taking legal action” works sometimes, but at best, tests the meaning of justice, where, in fact, the injustice itself is rarely if ever regained. Especially in regard to innocence. In my experience, revenge under the law, while at least socially acceptable, like war, can never completely repay the injustice.
So what is the “answer?” In my experience, the victim first needs to be willing to “see” the violation in its entirety, physically, emotionally, spiritually. Second, the victim needs to be willing to emotionally re-experience the violation in order to identify and break the innumerable “triggers” created by the violation that foment revenge. Third, victims need to forgive themselves for “allowing” the violation to have taken place, whether having been the victim or having watched the violence happen and not having done enough to stop it. Fourth, one must be willing to let go of the violator (a kind of anti-Stockholm Syndrome act). Fifth, and most importantly, the victim needs to be willing to live healthy, happily and well (the best sort of revenge). All this has to happen while removing oneself from the situation(s) and violator(s) that brought violator and victim into proximity, and eventually take action to prevent further such situations, specifically and in general. No more “walking on eggshells” or “worrying when it will happen again.”
Lame? Well, I have to admit that it’s certainly not hot, angry revenge. And it can, in some instances, take years, even decades or a lifetime, and it typically requires a lot of help from decent people. Trust, like innocence, once broken, is difficult and sometimes simply impossible to regain. But in my experience it does work. And it breaks the cascade of violence that revenge simply perpetrates. Try it, world. You might like it and what results.
THE EGE OF MADNESS Video Book Preview at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Je6CC...
#RaymondGaynor #TheEdgeOfMadness #book #ebook #audiobook #revenge #violence #violation #victim #perpetrator #abuse #assault #battery #war #genocide #empathy #sociopath #forgivenness #arrest #incarceration #trigger #innocence #trust #Savant #Aignos
“Turning the other cheek” works sometimes, if the person seeking revenge has any semblance of empathy left, which if left would strongly counteract the actual acting out of revenge. In my experience, it doesn’t work at all when there’s no empathy left in the victim, creating instead an ever-increasing host of sociopaths. Not a situation, often providing, in a victimizer’s mind a sort of “permission to victimize.” Not invoking violence against violence seems a complete non-sequitur, especially in a victimizer’s mind bent on revenger.
“Unrestricted Forgiveness,” like “turning the other cheek” works sometimes, but can also fuel victimizers, elevating abuse, assault and/or battery to crimes against humanity, generalized genocide and/or an invitation to continue or expand victimization. Another seeming non-sequitur, especially in a victimizer’s mind bent on revenge.
“Taking legal action” works sometimes, but at best, tests the meaning of justice, where, in fact, the injustice itself is rarely if ever regained. Especially in regard to innocence. In my experience, revenge under the law, while at least socially acceptable, like war, can never completely repay the injustice.
So what is the “answer?” In my experience, the victim first needs to be willing to “see” the violation in its entirety, physically, emotionally, spiritually. Second, the victim needs to be willing to emotionally re-experience the violation in order to identify and break the innumerable “triggers” created by the violation that foment revenge. Third, victims need to forgive themselves for “allowing” the violation to have taken place, whether having been the victim or having watched the violence happen and not having done enough to stop it. Fourth, one must be willing to let go of the violator (a kind of anti-Stockholm Syndrome act). Fifth, and most importantly, the victim needs to be willing to live healthy, happily and well (the best sort of revenge). All this has to happen while removing oneself from the situation(s) and violator(s) that brought violator and victim into proximity, and eventually take action to prevent further such situations, specifically and in general. No more “walking on eggshells” or “worrying when it will happen again.”
Lame? Well, I have to admit that it’s certainly not hot, angry revenge. And it can, in some instances, take years, even decades or a lifetime, and it typically requires a lot of help from decent people. Trust, like innocence, once broken, is difficult and sometimes simply impossible to regain. But in my experience it does work. And it breaks the cascade of violence that revenge simply perpetrates. Try it, world. You might like it and what results.
THE EGE OF MADNESS Video Book Preview at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Je6CC...
#RaymondGaynor #TheEdgeOfMadness #book #ebook #audiobook #revenge #violence #violation #victim #perpetrator #abuse #assault #battery #war #genocide #empathy #sociopath #forgivenness #arrest #incarceration #trigger #innocence #trust #Savant #Aignos
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