Real Men Don't: The Manty Hose Edition
In other editions of Real Men Don't (and it has been awhile), we have covered lists of things Real Men shouldn't do. Cheat on your significant others- also see: Hook up with your costar while married to someone else (that was for you, Brad Pitt). Exhibit your penis online (yeah, Anthony Weiner). Wear socks with sandals (ewww, just no). Carry a murse (man purse, though there are exceptions here and no, a fanny pack isn't one of them). Jump on Oprah's couch declaring that you're in love, in love (oh Tom Cruise).
But today, I want to talk about a serious new trend. A trend that Real Men should avoid at all costs.
Manty hose. Otherwise known as… brosiery. [image error]
According to fashion sources, it is the Big New Thing. Brought on by the success of Manx. Yes, Man Spanx. Manx. But while wearing figure-enhancing garments UNDER your clothes seems somehow acceptable (I mean, as long as I don't know or have to think about it, sure, go ahead), there's something somehow unseemly about, well, this: [image error]
Men in tights. As clothes. Or visible under clothes. As a fashion statement. And for warmth and comfort (comfort? They haven't been at this long, clearly). Nooooooo. Just NO. Okay.
Really? Really. Realllly? I saw this mentioned in a few magazine articles, and I laughed it off. But then VB emailed me just in case it had escaped my notice (thanks VB) and I realized that it might be more serious than I had imagined. Manty hose.
Madonna disagrees with me. Clearly, she thinks real men do wear brosiery. She has a bunch of dudes dancing with her in nothing but their manty hose and high heels in her new video for Girl Gone Wild. [image error]
As much as I hate to argue with Madonna, I have further proof that Real Men Don't. I found an online guide for men to help them learn how to don their manty hose. Hilarious!
Now I am going to imagine any man in manty hose actually struggling to put on the brosiery, just like we have had to do all these years, and well…
Would your dream man or significant other do that? Wear those? I'm thinking, no. Real Men Don't. What do you think? Are you with me on this? Or with Madonna?
Share this:
