The importance of looking at life through a kaleidoscope

“If today gets difficult, remember the smell of coffee, the way sunlight bounces off a window, the sound of your favourite person’s laugh, the feeling when a song you love comes on, the colour of the sky at dusk, and that we are here to take care of each other.”

– Nanea Hoffman

At a young age, my parents separated, and that ripped me into two.

A part of me longed to fit in my father’s arms as I grew, another part of me wished my mother did not grow away.

At school, I was mocked for being a few shades darker in complexion.

My friends would turn the light on when I walked into a room and they called me names that stung beneath my skin.

My childlike sense turned into another wound I nursed through high school.

I spent years being sad, with an anchor thrust into my chest, weighing me down.

I strung balloons around my waist and tried to fly.

I swallowed helium, but that only made me squeal.

I complained so much, I became ill.

My arms were embellished with the art of blood and graffiti.

Home to home, I carried my boxes filled with passion and rage.

Until one day, I toppled them over and they turned into a mosaic.

It took a long time, but I finally realised that sometimes, we must look at life through a kaleidoscope to understand the essence our feelings.

From the gentle specks of dust floating on a promenade of sunlight, to the moon that strums the ocean waves, there is a profound truth hidden in the melody and those who look carefully, sometimes find the invisible threads that connect the universe.

We pick flowers and they grow back.

We scatter pieces of ourselves in search of meaning.

Surely, there must be others who felt this way…

I have often wondered what it would feel like to have some whimsical change happen to me, something my whole life has been leading up to. I did not know when or whether it would ever happen, but I kept waiting impatiently.

I looked up at the sky today and something happened

A flock of birds carrying a string of sound flew by

It was the missing chord

The reason why my heart beat off key

I felt overwhelmed and excited, was I having an epiphany?

It was somewhat of an awakening, a sudden realisation that we travel through clouds and across the sea in search of new scenery, when we can simply look up at the natural palette of colours unravelling each day, and as the birds follow their instinct, we will find our way.

twenty-two