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Adrienne,I can image few experiences as demeaning or humiliating as auditioning as an actor. I for one would probably rearrange a few faces, which I doubt would get me the part. That said, I think the major difference is that in an audition you're applying for a job; in a query letter you're auditioning for the privilege of hiring them.
Not quite. I consider it far more of a partnership. A publisher/agent brings a set of skills to the table I do not have, and I bring my writing. Together we work to create something awesome. When I thank my publisher and editor and agent in my acknowledgments, it's not just lip service. It's true gratitude for all their hard work and helping my book become even better than it was before. I can say that I've never felt like I was a publisher's employer, nor did they make me feel like some lowly employee. I have always felt like a team. Maybe it's best to see query letters like tryouts. The coach wouldn't win the big game without the athletes, but the athletes wouldn't have a game to play without the team.



And I have had to custom many a cover letter for various job applications only to not even get an interview, so again, I think it always takes an effort.
That being said, I'm not trying to dilute your frustration in the least. Querying sucks. But do keep at it! You rock and you can't let this beat you!