Parenting, Ministry and Publishing: The Unfamiliar and Unexpected

At some point, I will likely elaborate on how the book-writing and publishing process went for me. In some ways, my experience was exactly like many others I have read and considered. In other ways, my experience was wholly unique. But tonight I happened to think how book-writing has been similar to other areas of my life.

I am a parent of two vibrant, exciting, wonderful boys. One will be 13 this year and the other turned nine just a few months ago. Over the years, Kara and I have often discussed how as soon as we felt confident and competent in one season of life, they would grow out of it and we would be starting anew. To complicate matters more, the two boys – while similar – are also VERY different. Thus we often have found ourselves in unfamiliar territory, tackling challenges that are entirely unfamiliar, and sometimes completely unexpected.

It’s that unfamiliar, unexpected feeling that caught my attention tonight. I noticed, perhaps for the first time, how familiar that feeling is to me.

In 2020 I helped lead a church through a pandemic. Some things I did well, others I did not-so-well. But that entire experience was brand new for me. I certainly never had a Bible College course on it. Every aspect was unfamiliar and unexpected.

In 2021 I decided to take all my thoughts on the preaching process and publish a book. With every new chapter of that process (pun intended), there were a bunch of new concepts to learn. Every step was unfamiliar. Some steps were unexpected.

My boys are constantly changing and growing. Every new season is unfamiliar as Kara and I have never walked through it before. Sometimes those seasons show up unexpectedly causing us to respond quicker than we anticipated.

I would love to say I have mastered the art and science of dealing with transitions and changes, but that would be a lie. Every change is unfamiliar and no two are precisely the same. Yet what I can say is that navigating change is less like a math formula and more like a jazz piece.

Jazz, done properly, will always follow concepts of musical theory. However, within those musical rules, jazz allows for a great deal of flexibility and lots of improvisation. There are a lot of good rules and wisdom when navigating unfamiliar and unexpected life change. Yet there is also a need for improvisation and flexibility.

So with whatever change comes your way next, learn what you can, adapt how you must, and improvise as necessary. All this can help you navigate the unfamiliar and unexpected.