Your Identity Is Abundance

As long as you think you don’t have something, you won’t have it…

This was the message Spirit shared with me this morning.

I was in the middle of my reconnection practice when I asked Spirit to show me what it feels like to Root into my pelvic bowl, my Seat of Knowing, but I knew that behind that question was a sense of “What if I can’t do it…?”

In knowing myself as a clear vessel for connection, one of the consistent issues I run into is feeling myself to be limited.

Lacking… needing, wanting something that I think I can’t get, be, or have.

The paradox here is that when you are sitting with “I don’t have” you are not in “I have”.

You are not in I AM, you are in I AM NOT.

From that place of lack (and not Abundance), it is impossible to get from here …to there.

But…you might say…I look around and I really don’t have these things I want, Jessica…

To which I would reply: This is either because your Soul doesn’t truly want them right now (more about this in a future post)-or- because you are in misunderstanding about who you truly are.

That’s what I’d like to talk about here. Who you truly are. Your Divine Identity.

You are Everything.

…Just because you aren’t in the experience you want doesn’t mean you aren’t that experience.

We are ALWAYS connected to our Divinity, unlimited in ability to co-create exactly what our Soul wants to experience, BUT our ideas, conditioning, usually from childhood, can block us from being a clear channel.

I believe this is why many struggle to manifest what we want, nowadays.

It’s like sitting in your house and believing that because you are sitting there at home right now you can’t ever be in Paris (gheesh, does this describe where you are in your thinking, as a result of the pandemic? Pandemic conditioning, anyone?).

Your Soul is everything and everywhere, and just because you aren’t in Paris in this moment, in this next one, you really can be in Paris, whether energetically, mentally, or geographically – if that’s what your Soul wants for you.

See?

You are Everything. 

…Just because you aren’t in the experience you want doesn’t mean you aren’t that experience.

Bear with me here because this concept is sooooo deep, so let it take a minute to sink in.

You already ARE EVERYTHING. You already HAVE EVERYTHING.

Really KNOW this, in your body and feelings, and you will change EVERYTHING.

What I’m talking about, here, is a major Identity shift.

A shift from lack into abundance. A shift from believing yourself to be small and limited to believing yourself to have access to your Divinity, Connection, Guidance, Soul Knowing…whatever it is you need, at will, at any given time.

Here’s a metaphor for you: Do you believe yourself to be the coconut tree, or the bar of soap? Here in Hawaii, coconuts abound, and they make just about everything- from food to lotion to fragrance. If you are aligned with your Divinity, you are resourceful. You don’t define yourself to being just one thing. Why would you? You are Divinity, which can do, be, see, experience anything. That’s one of your MAIN reasons your Soul has for being in a body; a diversity of experiences. This means when plans or circumstances change, you can figure it out, because you GET TO experience something else.

Not because you can’t have one thing or another, but because you GET TO HAVE something new.

The Astrology of the Abundant True Self

Those who study astrology know that Jupiter is the planet of Abundance.

Last year (and into this one), the Saturn/Uranus square transited my fourth house Jupiter in Aquarius. I will attempt to describe how this has felt, while knowing I cannot do it justice with words. At first I wavered between the marvelous sense of expansiveness that I know myself to BE (fourth house=innermost self; Jupiter=abundance) and this little prick of limitation (Saturn). Then, the limitations started rapidly piling up; all the things I couldn’t do, be, or have at that moment.

…Chronic pain (I have fibromyalgia, and this flared up strongly).

…Lack of relationships/connection (I had just moved to Hawaii when the pandemic began, so I have little community here).

…Lack of mobility and freedom (I chose to socially distance and not travel).

I do think the pandemic has played a star role in triggering this for me, but it was not its source. The source is in my childhood conditioning (fourth house). The shaming messages I received about being weird/strange/different (Aquarius) and not being “enough”, and the reality of neglect; of often not having enough (Saturn, planet of limitation, co-rules the sign of Aquarius)…this is what arose for me when I was triggered by all those pandemic limitations.

I noticed a duality or split occurs when I’m in “not enough”. “Enough” gets inflated with so much internal pressure and unrealism attached to it, the fact of my Divinity becomes special, elevated, out of reach, and something to achieve, instead of being my ordinary True Self state. I bounced between not enough and internal striving for something unattainable.

Connection to your True Divinity, your Abundance, is ordinary and every day and neutral in feeling. It is not an extraordinary gift only given to a few special few (Jupiter over-inflates, over-endows, certain things with a special luminous quality; some people do this in love relationship when Jupiter is involved, but I can over-endow Spirit Connection!).

…Again, when we think we need to achieve something (something special, something we don’t have) we are operating from lack. When we strive for what we are not/don’t have, we are squarely in I AM NOT. Which feels awful, because it’s untrue.

Always, the resolution is returning to Be-ing. Ordinary, natural, neutral, expansive state of Be-ing. The I AM.

“I AM” is your birthright… I AM is Abundant…I AM is EVERYTHING…I AM has and knows EVERYTHING

This is the Identity Shift I’m talking about. It’s the one I’m right in the midst of making.

Releasing Conditioning

Divinity, as an inward reality and ability to connect, is not a magical thing– it is equally given to One and All.

You are a conduit or vessel to Divine Truth, your Soul, whatever you would like to call it. Imagine you can feel this as a chamber of light within, like a pipe or straw. Your conditioned thoughts will contract the pipe, create pressure, make the connection smaller. You will experience congestion and blockages as lack of clarity, confusion, emotion.

When you are in Light, those pipes are open, flowing, clear and you feel neutral.

The only thing that creates a more or less clear connection to Source is the conditioned thoughts you have.

What to do? Most of us have extremely persistent conditioning which surfaces at different times. First, acknowledge what the subconscious programming/conditioning IS. Then, there are many ways I work to help clear this: including EFT, and my energy work, and many of these energy tips I feature on my blog (and increasingly also my Facebook page here).

I also call my Divinity forward. Literally feeling myself as Light, and the other as a different energetic layer of preoccupation. I play with feeling being in my embodied Light, then setting an intention for the deepest gentleness and compassion I can muster, to step forward and soothe the sense of contraction I feel –that energetic conditioned over-layer, which is often accompanied by emotion like sadness, or anxiety. I invoke gentleness and as much self-love and understanding for this aspect of myself who is still so very vulnerable to believing I AM NOT instead of always knowing that I AM.

Another resource for me continues to be the Divination Deck. It helps tremendously with all of this. It’s like talking directly to Spirit, and having it reply, truthfully, simply, steadily, gently is a consistent phenomenon, one I continue to marvel at. If you experience ongoing conflict between your conditioned Self and your True Self, trust you me, this deck was MADE for YOU!

Knowing, embodying, my True Divine Self is ongoing.

I don’t claim to have healed this entirely, not yet, but I’ve gotten so much further down the road. However, I want to say: so much of the work you see me manifest arises entirely because and out of this long conversation with myself.

I’m sure there will be more conversations shared, in the future. Till then, I hope you are having a peaceful 2022. Till next time, may you know your Self as Light, and may you deeply know your birthright: Your Abundant Divine True Self.

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