Finding Integration within Chaos and Rigidity
Right now, are you feeling energized and alert? Are you feeling comfortable and relaxed? Experiment and see if you can be energized and comfortable at the same time.
Athletes are great models for this quality of being. I love (and try to learn from) watching Steph Curry dribbling, weaving and bobbing, then shooting a basketball – part juggler, athlete, and magician, so completely modeling being totally relaxed and totally alert at the same time.
Often when I’m leading guided meditations I emphasize the intention and aspiration to find a way to be relaxed and alert – an important and effective approach and way of skillfully entering leadership, work, and our relationships. To relax, I suggest relaxing the shoulders, let go of any holding in the face or jaw, and soften the belly. To bring more energy, try sitting up a bit more, perhaps arching the back slightly. Notice how you hold or place your hands and feet and your entire body — sitting or standing more consciously.
Whether it’s the stresses and challenges of covid, of our work, and the various challenges of being human, a state that includes both more alertness and relaxation can help.
I was once co-teaching a mindful leadership training with Dr. Dan Siegel, a psychiatrist, author, teacher, and friend. I was struck when he said that all psychological challenges fall into one of two categories: too much chaos or too much rigidity. Chaos is a lack of order and control, not holding on tightly enough. Rigidity is holding on too tightly; too much order and control.
Dan went on to say that mindfulness practice and physical and emotional well-being can be described as integration. Sometimes we need some chaos. In some way chaos can be seen as an extension of energy, lots of letting go. Sometimes we need rigidity, holding on tight. We need more clarity, and more order. The “sweet spot” is integration — knowing when we need chaos, when we need rigidity, and not being too caught by either end of the spectrum.
As a leader, and in all our relationships, it can be challenging to find the sweet spot, of integration between or the most effective mix and balance of chaos and rigidity. How do we respond to covid – what is the right balance of rigidity and chaos? How do we make decisions? How much to do ourselves, or find support or to delegate? How much structure or lack of structure to provide for your team, work, or family?
A useful place to meet these questions, and find greater integration of chaos and rigidity is to practice — in meditation, work, basketball or any activity — starting with the body, intentionally practicing with being alert and relaxed, relaxed and alert.
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