A Sputtering Sentence

Instant Quiz

Can you improve the sentence below? Scroll to the bottom of today’s post for the answer.   

The first item on our agenda is advance planning for the Open House in February.

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Charlie and I often listen to classical music free, courtesy of our cable TV subscription. We especially enjoy the biographical snippets posted on the screen while the music is playing.

Sometimes, though, the writing falls short. I used to have an English teacher who kept urging us to “End strong!” when we were writing. I thought of him when I read this sentence about Chopin. Instead of “ending strong,” it sputters to the finish line:

When Frédéric Chopin was seven years old, he wrote the Polonaise in G Minor, which was printed.  WEAK

I think my former English teacher would be pleased with my rewrite:

The Polonaise in G Minor was published when Frédéric Chopin was only seven years old.  BETTER

But now we have another problem: my sentence is written in passive voice. Isn’t that bad writing?

The answer is…not always. Sometimes passive voice can solve a writing problem. Today’s sentence needs more emphasis. Using passive voice (“was published”) gives us a sentence that starts strong and stays strong. 

Photo by Leo Reynolds

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Instant Quiz ANSWER

All planning is done in advance! Delete advance from the sentence:

The first item on our agenda is planning for the Open House in February.  CORRECT

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