Fixing a Static Sentence

Instant Quiz

Can you correct the error in the sentence below? Scroll to the bottom of today’s post for the answer.     

Our dog Princess thinks that plaid blanket is her’s – and she makes sure we know it!

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Last week Charlie and I put our heads together to improve a sentence in one of his drafts. He was writing about protecting landscape plants from cold damage:

What the frost blanket, old bed sheet, or cardboard box accomplishes is to slow down the passage of heat stored in the ground and to hold it around the plant.

The word is tells you that this is a static sentence. Nothing is moving or changing. The frost blanket (or old bed sheet or cardboard box) exists, and that’s all.

Is (and are, was, were, and will be) are useful words, of course. Every writer (including me!) uses them all the time. But professional writers always take a moment to see if a more interesting word is called for.

In today’s sentence, we got rid of is altogether. Here’s the revised sentence:

The frost blanket, old bed sheet, or cardboard box slows down the passage of heat stored in the ground, holding it around the plant.  BETTER

It’s a more active sentence now. And the revision is six words shorter – another step towards greater readability.

A commercial frost blanket protects a plant against freeze damage.

An old bed sheet protects a tender plant from freeze damage.

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Short Pencil Point Deviant Art ok

Instant Quiz ANSWER

Possessive pronouns (his, hers, ours, theirs, yours, its) never have apostrophes.

Here’s an easy way to remember: think about his. No apostrophe, right? All the words in this group work the same way: his, hers, ours, theirs, yours, its.

Our dog Princess thinks that plaid blanket is hers – and she makes sure we know it!  CORRECT

What Your English Teacher Didn’t Tell You is available in paperback and Kindle formats from Amazon.com and other online booksellers.
“A useful resource for both students and professionals” – Jena L. Hawk, Ph.D., Mississippi Gulf Coast Community College

“Personable and readable…Jean knows her subject forwards and backwards.” – Adair Lara, author of Hold Me Close, Let Me Go

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Published on November 10, 2021 04:00
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