(5/5) “I brought an old tennis racket to boarding school. I had...

(5/5) “I brought an old tennis racket to boarding school. I had never played before, but I decided to make it my thing. I practiced so hard. I didn’t chit chat. And my freshman year I made the team. I’m what they call an aggressive baseliner. You think the ball is going out, but it’s not. It’s going in. Because I always hit the lines. Our first match was at an actual country club. I was so out of place. Everyone was wearing tennis skirts, and all I had were athletic shorts. But I just kicked this chick’s butt. I think it was 6-0, 6-1, 6-0. It felt so good. Thank God for tennis. Because it’s hard to feel ‘less than’ when you’re winning. After that match I used all my money to buy a tennis skirt. I bought it too large, and I pinned it. So I could wear it for all four years. I was that way with all my clothes. Finally I could control what I wore, and I was smart about it. I bought things I could wear again and again. Things I could mix and match. Fashion became my armor. It was my way of controlling how other people see me. My freshman year people were making fun of my clothes. But by the time I left, I was voted ‘best dressed.’ I’ve had a lot of different jobs since college. But I’ve always been involved in fashion. It’s mostly on social: talking about trends, and how to make them your own. But I take every opportunity to be on camera. Two years back I was invited on a TV show to talk about Halloween costumes for dogs. I wanted so bad to say ‘no.’ But I knew: if this is what I wanted to do, I needed to push past the fear. I was petrified the entire time we were filming. You can hear my voice crack. But I did it. And after the show I pet my first dog. I can hold them now. I can play with them. I don’t have that fear anymore. Looking back, it was never the dog I was truly afraid of. I thought it was. But now I just feel so sorry for him. Those people treated him so badly. Nobody was taking him on walks. They were poking him with sticks. He was in that cage all the time. He was barking because he was cold, and angry, and scared. I just feel so sad for him. I always thought it was him. For the longest time I thought it was him. But it was never him. It was the home.”


Charell asks for anyone with love in their home to consider fostering a child. She’s also set up a fundraiser for anyone who’s been moved by her story to support foster youth: https://bit.ly/supportcharell