Titles of Inequality
Guest post by Green.
The church has a long history of members referring to each other as “brother” or “sister.” In the early days of the church, the prophet was known as “Brother Joseph (one example from the Joseph Smith papers is here). I kind of like this idea; it makes the church seem a familial place, focused on families and inclusion. But I think this title history is more complex.
There are quite a few blog posts online discussing the concept behind “Bother” and Sister” titles, much the rhetoric is focused in a very good way- teaching that we are all children of God, and need to look out for each other as we would in a family. In 2018, LDSLiving posted a piece on the “brother and sister” title ideology, claiming that it “It Reminds Us We Are All Equal.”
As God’s children, we are all equal because ” all are alike unto God” (2 Nephi 26:33). Using “brother” and “sister” reminds us of this. We may have different callings like Relief Society president, bishop, Primary president, stake president, etc., but this doesn’t mean we are better than each other. Because we all carry the title “brother” and “sister,” we don’t set anyone higher than the other. No job position, marital status, or amount of wealth sets us apart because when we walk through the chapel doors, we are all “brother” and “sister” and we are all trying to live the gospel.
Except that last part is not true. For example, when is the last time you called your bishop, “brother”? Over the past decade I have even heard of bishops and branch presidents referring to female primary and relief society presidents as “President Smith,” as a means of showing respect to their position—possibly in reaction to the Ordain Women movement.
A BYU devotional titled “Brotherly Love” wherein two-gendered titles are revered only is laughably ironic, and the church’s own website includes a piece arguing that referring to each other as “brother” or “sister” “help(s) us best relate to each other?.” This particular piece also includes the stipulation that “the titles Bishop and President are appropriate even after the (male) leader has been released.” So, uh… they aren’t a part of that big holy family with the rest of us, but rather a part of a class of folks that are deserving of bigger titles. *sigh*
Simply put, we are NOT equal in the church. Even when we use titles that we pretend are equal. Calling me a “sister” to another person’s “brother” only serves as a reminder that my position in the church is lower because of my gender, which is highlighted by the “sister” church title. Why else are male missionaries called “Elder” to the title of “sister” for female missionaries?
“Sisters” cannot raise to the title of elder or bishop, whereas a “brother” may do so. Thus the title of brother is inherently more powerful than the title of sister. Men will always have greater authority and power than women so long as we continue to use the term “presiding,” and we ban women from holding “priesthood keys.” We are constantly reminded of our lower position in the church by use of these gendered titles.
I have found that calling each other by these titles is further problematic because of the confusion it brings to those outside of the church. Years ago, when I was in the Hill Cumorah Pageant, non-members were known to ask where I had trained to obtain the title of sister, as displayed on my name badge. “Did you obtain that title at BYU?” they would ask. It became a much more common discussion topic than the intended missionary work.
In addition to the divisive sexism these gendered titles enforce, in the age of LGBTQIA+,
these titles are discriminatory. As a diagnostically intersex individual, I feel for my LGBTQIA+ community. Though I identify as female, I feel for those who have XX chromosomes and testicles. I ache for those who have XXY chromosomes, beards and breasts, and mostly for those who chose to not identify with a specific gender. Are these people not our eternal siblings as well?
I suggest that we retire these sexist, gendered, discriminatory titles as call each other ‘Saints’. After all, this is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. ‘Saints’ to me is much more inclusive
and reflective of the mission of the church to be of service and love to all. It reflects my mind and heart, and not my body. It gives me a matching title to my spouse, and reminds us that we are truly equal because we have the same label.
It is a baby step. But it is an important baby step.
