How to Overcome Insomnia When You’re Too Stressed Out

For five grueling years, I had chronic insomnia, night after night. It was triggered by an unstable relationship followed by the sudden death of my daughter, both of which collided with menopause.

OB/GYN’s say insomnia is the most common complaint of the menopausal women they treat. Yet, chronic insomnia can also be set off by intense PTSD and grief. A recent NPR report indicates more than 60 million Americans suffer from insomnia. Only now, several years after my crises, do I sleep peacefully.

Here’s what my insomnia looked like. I’d wake up three to four hours after I fell asleep, so wide awake I could play a hand of cards, compose a business letter, or go organize my closets. It would take hours to fall back to sleep.

I tried nearly every remedy and read every book out there, some of which work better than others. I even took a seminar for health professionals about insomnia and the ‘over stimulated brain’.

I’m not one to turn to sleeping pills or sedative as ultimately, they only mask the problem. Once you stop taking them, your insomnia is still there … waiting patiently for you.

To that end, here’s the drug-free list of alternatives that have worked for me so far.

Keep a sleep log at night. This helps you track just how your behavior affects your sleep. Make columns for date & sleep percentage, time to bed, time you fell asleep, number of times you woke, total time awake, final time awake, time you got out of bed, and quality of sleep from 1 to 5. At the end leave a column for notes on what varied from day to day.

Update your sleep log each morning. Then calculate this:

# of minutes slept ÷ # of minutes in bed

Keep your log for a while, then track that sleep percentage each day relative to how your behavior varies. When you get at least five days of sleep over 90% you’ll know what’s working.

No simple carbs at night. Simple carbs like cookies, candy, cereal, potatoes, rice, white bread and baked goods can wake you up in the middle of the night when consumed in the afternoon or evening. “Reverse meals,” advised one doctor. Eat a big lunch and just some light protein and veggies, soup or fruit for dinner.

Create a dark cozy sanctuary with an eye pillow. Removing light pollution from your bedroom is often a key to a good night’s sleep. The best way I’ve found is with a small silk bag that’s like a beanbag filled with flax seeds. Eye pillows lay across your eyes keeping the light out from, say, a partner who likes to read after you go to sleep, or light pollution from the street.

Write down your worries. Keep a worry log and you’ll find out just how worried you actually are. If you write these thoughts down in a place other than your bedroom in the early evening and then put them away, you will naturally move concerns through your brain more easily at night. It also helps to schedule a time when you will resolve some of these issues.

Exercise daily. Even a 20-minute walk can help … but don’t work out just before bed. I find exercise takes the edge off of my natural anxiety and helps me chill out. Then I’m truly tired by bedtime.

Avoid alcohol. Yeah, we all know this one … personally I find it very true that when I have a glass of wine it will revisit me in the middle of the night and mess with my sleep.

Eliminate caffeine completely. One M.D. told me that we become more sensitive to caffeine as we get into mid-life. Furthermore, caffeine has been found to have a ‘half life’ that stays in your body an average of 5.7 hours after the buzz is gone. Certain genetic variants can keep the buzz going far longer so you sleep far more fitfully.

Keep your window open at night and use ear plugs if you need to. Simple but true. The body rests more deeply if slightly chilled. If you have ambient noise outside, silicone ear plugs are actually very effective.

Practice sleep restraint and keep a consistent sleep schedule. This is the single most effective remedy I have found for my insomnia. By keeping a sleep log (see #3) you will come to learn how much sleep you actually need to feel good. (Note: By mid-life, most of us tend to need less sleep than when we were younger. The average for people over 50 is actually 6.5 hours.)

Sleep restraint is modifying how long you stay in bed each night. It means getting up within three minutes of naturally waking up … whether you want to or not. So if you go to bed at 10AM and you wake up at 5:30 of 6AM, you get up, turn on the lights and start your day instead of rolling over. By the same turn keep yourself awake at night until your consistent bedtime arrives. If you have trouble staying awake, go for a brief walk. This will be uncomfortable at first but give it a few days and your body will adjust — and you’ll begin to stay more consistently.

Much of good sleep has to do with learned habit and association. So this teaches the body to use more of its time in bed actually sleeping.

Methodically relax your mind. When my mind is racing in the middle of the night, I lie in bed and quietly calm each part of my head, jaw, face, neck, shoulders, moving on through the body. It’s basically a way to methodically still the mind and relax the body. And it’s often the last thing I remember when trying to fall back to sleep.

Pull out a boring book and have at it.  Something about reading when unable to sleep relaxes the mind and effectively changes the channel from whatever you were fomenting on. I love the classics, like Ralph Waldo Emerson for this. A more esoteric favorite of mine is Your Soul’s Plan by Robert Schwartz, which can really help you embrace and accept tough things you may be going through.

May you find something helpful here in your quest for a good night’s sleep. I’d love to hear what has worked for you, so please leave any thoughts in a comment below. Thanks.

The post How to Overcome Insomnia When You’re Too Stressed Out appeared first on Suzanne Falter.