Firefox to remove “rarely used” HTML support

Earlier this afternoon, Mozilla, the half-billion dollar mega corporation and makers of the Firefox web browser, announced that the next version of Firefox will completely remove support for HTML.

“We recently removed FTP support from Firefox — because what is that anyway? — so we figured… why not get rid of some other stuff that nobody has ever heard of,” stated Mozilla CEO, Mitchell Baker. “People are always complaining about how much memory Firefox needs. This should help a little!”

Firefox CTO, Eric Rescorla, stated the following in a series of Tweets just minutes after the announcement:

“So happy to finally get rid of all that legacy HTML baggage! I mean, seriously. Who actually uses HTML anymore? Hippies. That’s who. Dirty, neck-bearded hippies.”

“Now that we don’t have to worry about all those pesky webpages and hypertext documents, we can focus on what Firefox was, obviously, always meant to do: Large, memory intensive applications with dynamically loading, constantly moving content. And DRM. Lots and lots of DRM.”