Some mornings should be cancelled. #DailyBlog June 24, 2021

You will never see me wake up with a jaded mood. I wake up and smile, and kiss my dog and my mom. I dance and sing around and enjoy every damn sip of my strong Indian chai. Yes, I am a morning person.

But on some mornings, my mood is out of my control. It’s not that I don’t want to smile. I still wake up with loaded affection for my dog, feel grateful for my heart that is still beating and wish to seize the day. But with a brain fogged with fitful sleep and a variety of thoughts that you have been avoiding for long, it is really difficult to see the beauty in sunrise.

Today, I woke up with an impossible wish. I know irrespective of all the hard work, money and wisdom I put in, I can never fulfill it. I woke up with a wish to live one more day of my life with both my parents alive. It aches to open my parents’ room and only find my mom there. I wish for a day where I feel loved by both my parents. It’s been long that my father gave me a pat on the back. It’s been long that my father gave me a call and asked me to come back home asap. It’s been really long that him and I held a conversation. Yes, it was one conversation that I craved the most when I lost him on December 04, 2020. And it is just one conversation that I wish to have with him now.

Why do people talk about miracles, the power of prayers and manifestation? They didn’t work for me.

I don’t know what to write anymore.

Thank you for listening. I appreciate it.

Thoughtstreets