Stuck to your partner like glue ... or running for the hills.
Basic attachment theory posits that humans are driven to form close connections with other people, but how we do that and how we feel about it is influenced by our early relationship experiences. Through interactions with our caregivers, we develop expectations of other people. So, for example, a baby with an attentive, responsive caregiver will develop the expectation that the caregiver is a source of safety and a provider of comfort. As a result, that baby will readily seek out that specific caregiver when anxious, and will be pretty darn upset if he's separated from that caregiver. However, if the baby has learned that the caregiver is cold and unresponsive, he will have an entirely different set of expectations and behaviors.
Adult attachment theory applies that idea of "attachment" to adult romantic relationships. On Monday, some of you were commenting about relationships in general, but this concept is generally reserved for romantic bonds. There's been a lot of attempts to map child attachment styles to those identified in adults, but findings from studies suggest that the connection, while definitely there, is moderate at best. Your childhood attachment style will not necessarily be your attachment style as an adult in a romantic relationship. However, there's a bit of evidence that suggests we choose partners who confirm our existing beliefs about relationships and intimacy.
The basic attachment styles for adults:
Secure. This was #2 in Monday's post. Adults with a secure attachment style (or low anxiety, low avoidance on that quiz) find it easy to trust and be in relationships, and they tend to view relationships positively. They often have a history of warm, trusting connections, and are comfortable with intimacy--but not afraid of independence. About 60% of people describe themselves this way.
Preoccupied (also called "resistant"). This was #3 in Monday's post. Adults with preoccupied attachment style (low avoidance, high anxiety on the quiz) might seem kinda clingy. They seek approval and intimacy, but may end up being overly dependent. They rate themselves less positively than those who have secure attachment styles. About 20% of people describe themselves this way.
Avoidant. This was #1 in Monday's post, and about 20% of people describe themselves this way. But there are two types.
Fearful (high anxiety, high avoidance). These folks want to have close relationships but feel uncomfortable with being close to others. They might not trust partners, but they don't feel that great about themselves, either. Dismissive (this would be low anxiety, high avoidance). These folks are highly independent and don't value (relatively speaking) intimacy. They may view others less positively than they view themselves, and they may distance themselves from a partner if there's conflict or rejection. Both Dismissive and Fearful folks tend to hide or suppress their feelings ... but Dimissive peeps are more successful at it.There's solid research that shows that secure parents tend to have securely attached kiddos, and parents with one of the insecure attachment styles have kids who are more likely to show one of the insecure styles (resistant, avoidant, or disorganized).
So ... you know, I could go on and on. The field of attachment is HUGE, and the research spans the last five decades. I think I'll stop here for today, but if you're a writer thinking about romantic relationships (or parent-child relationships), you might want to investigate the concept of attachment in more depth, as it's a great way to build a character whose thoughts and actions form a cohesive pattern, especially if that character has some complex past relationships, either with parents or previous romantic partners.
And it's Wednesday! The first of the month! Which means Laura is tackling this month's Sisterhood of the Traveling Blog question: "What kind of book do you read for inspiration?" Head on over to her blog to see her answer!
Also--let me know if you have questions about attachment (for book-research/character development purposes) and I'll try to answer them in future posts!
Adult attachment theory applies that idea of "attachment" to adult romantic relationships. On Monday, some of you were commenting about relationships in general, but this concept is generally reserved for romantic bonds. There's been a lot of attempts to map child attachment styles to those identified in adults, but findings from studies suggest that the connection, while definitely there, is moderate at best. Your childhood attachment style will not necessarily be your attachment style as an adult in a romantic relationship. However, there's a bit of evidence that suggests we choose partners who confirm our existing beliefs about relationships and intimacy.The basic attachment styles for adults:
Secure. This was #2 in Monday's post. Adults with a secure attachment style (or low anxiety, low avoidance on that quiz) find it easy to trust and be in relationships, and they tend to view relationships positively. They often have a history of warm, trusting connections, and are comfortable with intimacy--but not afraid of independence. About 60% of people describe themselves this way.
Preoccupied (also called "resistant"). This was #3 in Monday's post. Adults with preoccupied attachment style (low avoidance, high anxiety on the quiz) might seem kinda clingy. They seek approval and intimacy, but may end up being overly dependent. They rate themselves less positively than those who have secure attachment styles. About 20% of people describe themselves this way.
Avoidant. This was #1 in Monday's post, and about 20% of people describe themselves this way. But there are two types.
Fearful (high anxiety, high avoidance). These folks want to have close relationships but feel uncomfortable with being close to others. They might not trust partners, but they don't feel that great about themselves, either. Dismissive (this would be low anxiety, high avoidance). These folks are highly independent and don't value (relatively speaking) intimacy. They may view others less positively than they view themselves, and they may distance themselves from a partner if there's conflict or rejection. Both Dismissive and Fearful folks tend to hide or suppress their feelings ... but Dimissive peeps are more successful at it.There's solid research that shows that secure parents tend to have securely attached kiddos, and parents with one of the insecure attachment styles have kids who are more likely to show one of the insecure styles (resistant, avoidant, or disorganized).
So ... you know, I could go on and on. The field of attachment is HUGE, and the research spans the last five decades. I think I'll stop here for today, but if you're a writer thinking about romantic relationships (or parent-child relationships), you might want to investigate the concept of attachment in more depth, as it's a great way to build a character whose thoughts and actions form a cohesive pattern, especially if that character has some complex past relationships, either with parents or previous romantic partners.
And it's Wednesday! The first of the month! Which means Laura is tackling this month's Sisterhood of the Traveling Blog question: "What kind of book do you read for inspiration?" Head on over to her blog to see her answer!
Also--let me know if you have questions about attachment (for book-research/character development purposes) and I'll try to answer them in future posts!
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